She gave kisses that killed.

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2003-03-04 08:03 AM

She gave kisses that killed.

“I miss you”
said she

the pain
arose

white and thorny

trickling tears
I saved them for she.

but she’d forgotten
the power in words
and though she missed me
still my heart bled.

03/03/03

My Violent Bedtime Stories

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2003-03-04 10:45 AM

Andrew~
Now THAT's a title that can't be ignored~
The content .... VERY, VERY touching~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2003-03-04 11:17 AM

Thank you for the reply Marge, I was a little sure about the title and the content as it was sort of a vent but now I'm a little more at ease.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2003-03-06 12:00 PM

Yipes... I'm familiar, this is not a good situation to be in. I knew you'd be able to do it justice, though, and I read this with confidence in your ability... what you've created turns out to be sharp and accurate.

Very nicely written, Zu.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

4 posted 2003-03-07 11:40 PM

Cool poem that gets to the point. I am somewhat confused about your use of the word she in the line "I saved them for she."

"If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"
-- Magus
"there is no good and evil, there are just sides."
-- Local Parasite

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

5 posted 2003-03-09 06:41 PM

ooo...i liked this alot...so sad but diffently a great write..

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

6 posted 2003-03-10 03:49 AM

Thanks for the replies, this is a peice I'm really glad I wrote. Anyway thanks for the replies.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

7 posted 2003-03-10 10:05 AM

Very well written, Mister Zu. Each line was touching and the last few lines really pinpointed the pain.

I'm glad I caught this.

~AF~

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.