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Win or Die
| Poetic Haven |
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Win or Die |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida 
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Your eyes stared right at me These brown orbs prickled in to-die-for lashes just long enough to tickle the smooth underbelly of your glasses Surprisingly, the most innocently child-like – the most sensitive of features, in an unusually intimidating array of appearances But now, your eyes stare brows furrowed yelling at me to speak to say something (that ‘just say anything’ kind of something) And my only defense are my hands splayed helpless mute, open to suggestion Words though words are simply lost to you to the cut-and-dry millitaryesque fashioning of reason you like to call logic You spew analogies (the same ones reserved for the very stupid.) They hack away at everything that my heart tries to bleed out waiting waiting for the next line to come Your eyes stare at my hands splayed helpless and I say “Just stop” (quickly now, before the furrow deepens into retort) “Stop, please – my heart cannot win against your mind” That’s all it is, really to you Win or Die |
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| © Copyright 2001 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
"Win or die" is the philosophy of some....well written Nic. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Very stout, Nic. Good attention is given to facial language, something that is very hard to capture at times, coupled with explanatory body postures to portray the overall helplessness of the situation, the tangible lack of resolution. Well worded, but bittersweet, alum on the tongue. I especially liked and related to the Do or Die, though for me it's usually All or Nothing.  |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Wow -- Deja-vu -- this happened to me last night (only I was the cool analytical sort, and the glasses and to-die-for lashes were his). I'm torn between thanking you for this perspective and kicking myself squarely in the butt for being so aloof. I'd try to do both simultaneously, but I'm getting old and might break something. But enough about me. Well done, from both an analytical and an emotional standpoint, Nicole. I thought the ending was especially striking. Linda |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Do you live in New hamshire? Last time I checked their motto was "live free or die" You might like it there. Nice one here!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You display amazingly specific imagery. This is a piece to be proud of. I would like to read it again and if I see a critique I'll be back. It's wonderful.! "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Do I have to say that I know? Then let me say instead... there it is... so small in my stomach: a black and boiling circle the size of a quarter, that runs so deep it brushes the back of the throat of my soul. And it sits there, a grey stone, just waiting for nights like this to melt itself down and steal my words and strength. Thick liquid writhing, the vapors searing pain to every inch they touch... their center this crippling, black, abscess core. I still remember the night it was created, and the blind tears. Nicole, you take what I cannot speak simply and animate it into verse I don't have the voice for... *half smiles* This is the anthem for the destructive mutes, the ones who understand that our “silent treatment” is harder on the one who cannot speak. Just like jello... hit that spot in me I just never got out. Thanks for this one. *superherohugs* |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I agree with all above, especially Ali. You're imagery is fantastic! Stood right by and watched it unfold. Excellent! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
*sigh* I'm listenting to the theme song from Star Wars right now - and somehow, John Williams just caused my mind to read your poem as an epic struggle for mankind to throw down the opressive chains of teh guinea pigs and to rebel! Win our freedom from the tyranny of the pigs! Viva la Nicole! Viva!!! Uhmm - I liked the poem too - Bol o' hugs lady! C |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Oh yes, when it's the heart against the logical mind, there's no way the heart stands a chance... sigh... such is life uh?  Great poem Nicole... love it! |
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