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fragrance that she left behind
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fragrance that she left behind |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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something so familiar a lingering of memory bewitching in the similar haunting peace of reverie something foreign in the air-- a tune in haunt of joyless mind... An empty room boasts clues of her the fragrance that she left behind. I see traces on the wall, cameos of love's rewind. I search into the sheets; unrest for fragrance that she left behind. * * * for you, C... [This message has been edited by serenity (05-18-2002 03:08 AM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I see traces on the wall, cameos of love's rewind. I search into the sheets; unrest for fragrance that she left behind. ====================================== cameos of love's rewind. how perfect of a line is that... pure poetry lovie...( you are)  How long can a girl be haunted by you ... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
...sigh... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I'm with Sharon -- you're too good for the room. Out with you! Out! *hugs* Kidding, silly.  Y' rock. Mike She said burn ... together. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
HEY...I wasn't under pressure either...smile...one of the fringes of perpetually tardy! YOU GUYS ROCK!!!and? ty!  |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Very intresting.. good job |
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Brian James Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147Winnipeg |
Love your critique flag. Maybe I should lay on the compliments. I was going to say that this poem seems unfinished, but usually when I say things like that, I end up being wrong---or, I'm just seeing something you intended (as in, it's supposed to seem unfinished because it's inconclusive, it expresses a broken sentiment, a kind of emptiness). You have this wonderful habit of inviting your readership to feel the way you do, and it's especially effective in this little poem, where the imagery comes only halfway into the poem and the sentiment and atmosphere dominate. It's kind of like leading us into a poem blindfolded and then building us up for things as simple as "room" and "walls." Somehow I always expect you to write in unconventional ways (which you sometimes do), but I'm starting to appreciate the very conventional aspects of your writing style. It really helps your writing to feel more sincere (which I don't doubt that it is) for you to rely on its content so heavily... it's kind of the reverse of the way I write (since form is secondary to substance in your writing, and vica versa with me). You remind me of Emily Dickinson at her most emotional, or William Blake at his least mystical. As always, this is superb... the combination of apparently disconnected concepts like beds and unrest, boasting and clues, et cetera, make this uniquely Serenity. Thanks for sharing. Brian |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
And I missed this how? Go fijjer. It is an eternal search. You know what I've learned since this time, though, k? Even if I find that fragrance, it turns out it wasn't really the one I was looking for in the first place... I appreciate Brian's comments almost as much as your writing - he managed to sum up something that I've felt about your work for so long, but never put words to: you're one of the most unconventional people I've ever known... yet somehow manage to put it in conventional phrasing that even I can grasp. Hugs and stuff and thanks for the memory of a memory.  |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Incredibly melancholy-- this made me feel so wistful. I love your poetry. Always have.  You're one of the ones that keeps me coming back here. ~*Krista Lee Knutson*~ |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Yes! That's it Bri, Emily Dickenson when she was beside herself! This smart lady takes the complexities in her head, sorts them out, then says it for even us common folk to enjoy, and that I appreciate. I had never read this before and funny, this reminds me now of just so many people. Waste not a second ~ Carpe' Diem |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
cameos of love's rewind. I would have to say that is my favorite line. I love reading you, lady, you always seem to leave me speechless and pondering. <3 |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
"fragrance that she left behind" Truly enjoyed this one. Makes me want to ask, What fragrance do you leave behind? Any one.. I happen to love Obsession.. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
It's usually a combination of musk and smoke. thanks for reading, and if my memory serves me well, this was written from either a challenge or a phrase originated by Christopher. Now it reminds me of my sister--I was given her scarves and a few other things and they all smell of Chanel... |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
That is interesting. Smoke and musk. LOL I remember my mother's fragrances. Emeraude and Tweed. I bought a small vial of the first. I do not remember the smell of Tweed. The Emeraude does nothing for me except I remember it on her. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
martyjo? I don't know if you have access (or even interest) in the Mature Content forum, but I did want you to know you inspired me to quite a giggle at myself: /main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=displayprivate&number=68&topic=000326 thanks lovie I pray you are well m'friend.  |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Checked and posted.Thanks for the wink.. martyjo |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
close, k - it was either bsquirrel or Sharon (poet devine) that originated the phrase - we were challenging each other to quickly write poems based off of certain phrases - i think the average time frame per poem was about 5-10 minutes. i came in late and had to catch up. /pip/Forum55/HTML/000178.html again - thanks for the memory of a memory of a memory... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ah...would that I could, C, I would hire you to be my "memory". Or at least make some newer better ones.  Love you good daddy guy. |
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Musicmaker1969
since 2000-06-25
Posts 589Peterborough, Ontario Canada |
A deeply moving poem. I especially, like the others, love Cameos. It is full of emotion and I could feel the longing in it. If this was done by a poetry challenge, you did an excellent job. Sheri Adams Jesus lives in my heart! He can in yours too!!! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Karen, my heart pinged with this one. It brought to my mind a string of hippie beads someone I loved wore and gave me in 1969. I still have those beads. The scent has fadded now...but for the first few years I had them, I would hold them up and take a sniff and oh...well, you know...and you expressed this so very perfectly. I'm keeping this and tho' my remember scent was for a man and not a family member, there was love and OMG...I can nearly smell those silly beads and him again. .....jo |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Just rub 'em with patchouli oil and carry them around under yer armpit for a day or two. I'll bet THAT'S the scent he left behind...  |
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