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Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

0 posted 2001-02-07 04:28 PM

Learn of the woman
poet, protector, child,
who awakens and prepares
to gather peace from ruin.
She is still protected by armor,
but whose?
"Be silent, slut!
Dry your rabid face
or I'll tear your skin to shreds
for you are worth nothing!
Be quiet"

One-battle rages; then another
and another
one day-
she unearths the very
bitterness and cruel rage heard
and illustrated from the banishment
of all her inner joy.

"I'll never reveal myself - never!"

"No one will recognize you;
no one will protect you-
a tattered rubbish pile
is all they will find.
No one will recognize you
trust no one, you will not be heard."

She was born in fluid silence;
growing to a woman
head down and body limp
and still, her arms stretch out
for a miracle.

But she found a stronghold.
Now her back is against the wall.
She's been driven there by mute ramblings
from petrified beauty imprisoned by decades
where imagination rotted still life negatives.
Hell releases a fury of
inflaming demons on the edges of paranoia.
She is held back from the rim of madness;
vindicated by the grace of God

"I'll never reveal myself - never"
"Am I alone, is there no one?

Does a person scratch
fragments of an existence together still
feeling half-alive without
touching another human heart?"
Whom do I trust?
How do I trust someone I cannot see?
Do I trust them by the life from their words
which impregnate
my very soul?
And then what?
Do I begin to live!
To feel joy?
Is this trust?
How do you believe in it!!!!!
If I live, is it trust!!!
If I breathe and live
is it joy, unspeakable
is it full?
I received it freely!
Stand back and let me have it
you WILL NOT keep it from me!
It must be real for
I will not give my soul to
shallow rantings.
Is God real?"

Her back is against the wall and
it must come down.

Words crash.
She must be strong.
Her final stronghold - destroyed.
Even in the pitch-black
continuation of mental angst;
through invisible prison walls
in darkening sorrow-
emptiness beyond comprehension;
words can become the only vestige
a human breath can exhale!
We must inhale providence!

She studies her own reflection
and peers into emerald lunacy
until she draws back, in fear.

A woman?
Her grace and dignity intact?
Her words?

She will become her own woman.
but still a child of God.
He protects her and
honors completeness.
to retain her innocence
He will make her whole in
passion and purity,
renewing her countenance.

He will not leave her to
be alone and he will
not turn his back on her!

He approaches her with open hands,
She will smile, beautifully - revealing  
everything to divinity,
"You have broken through all his walls and
His strongholds to ruins." Psalm 89:40 Psalm 89
Psalm 89:39-41

Her battle belongs to the Lord.

"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis

[This message has been edited by Kathleen (edited 02-07-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Kathleen - All Rights Reserved
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2001-02-07 05:56 PM

WOW! Hope you're doing well! YOu said it all with that last part!
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
2 posted 2001-02-07 08:32 PM

kathleen--This is so powerful and full of left me limp and afraid for you..afraid for innocence and beauty...yet, still sure of strength.
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2001-02-08 10:33 AM

Kathleen...I will miss you.  Continue to keep in touch, let us know how you are doing....
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-02-08 10:51 AM

thank you all, this poem is about something I am trying to overcome: MPD or multi-personality disorder, and hopefully now that I'm not ashamed and embarrassed to admit I have it, I can deal with it and God's help.

I love you guys

"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis

Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
5 posted 2001-02-08 02:19 PM

Kathleen, a child of God you are and loved. This poem was deep and beautifully written and I admire the strength you show with it. (((((HUGS)))))
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-02-08 07:04 PM

Wow this was very powerful! I ilked this one a lot. Be well and good luck!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
7 posted 2001-02-14 09:59 AM

Kathleen I commend you. I'm glad you came to terms with things, and God will protect you.
Very powerful poem you've written here.

Wishing you many blessings!

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2001-02-14 10:02 AM

Thank you, doing well, and getting there, keeping up with Passions, thought about leaving, did, but the Haven and Spiritual are very important to me!!

"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis

Poet deVine
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2001-02-14 10:10 AM

It's good to know that you will be here with us and share your gift.
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-02-15 09:35 PM

I love the strength in this. It is awesome!! You go!! This one says a lot to me . . . so, so much. Excellent writing.

Poetry should surprise by fine should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

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