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Open Poetry #18

Window Time

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-02-05 06:42 PM

Window Time

stretching
lolling
soaking up the sun
yawning
fawning
till one side is done

climbing down
strolling ‘cross the floor
seeking some nibbles
till I go for more

if I lolled a-west
now I’ll loll t’east
drinking in the sunshine
a winter time feast

measuring the sofa
four lengths or more of me
finding just the spot
to keep sun company

tail up, tail down
whiskers curl into a grin
dreaming of a country mouse
with whiskers on his chin

©February 5, 2002

I want to change one of the whiskers in the last stanza, don't like having two of them in such close proximity. Ideas? Maybe "crumbs upon" the mouse's chin? Something else curling into a grin, but what? Lips only has one syllable and it's boring.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2002-02-05 07:43 PM

(smiles) Ooohhhhhhhh...this is soooooooo cute, sweet friend, imagine that! (giggles) I love this poem just the way it is, we all love you so much, this is fabulous! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Virginia, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

2 posted 2002-02-05 07:45 PM

OH VAS this is so sweet,,, hey how about
"sweet lips" great poem.

floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

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