Open Poetry #18 |
My first Sestina---- Life and Death |
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
I found this form very difficult to write, it is my first Sestina. Life and Death Death does not need an invitation. Death is bold and final. Without warning, it comes in the dark of the night Shrouding your soul, snuffing out your life, Leaving a trail of sorrow and agony in it's path. Death is the ultimate bridge to cross. So many bridges in life to cross. Each of these bridges gives an invitation As you walk along each path, Knowing that one could be final, Fearing them your entire life. One of these paths is darker than night. As you journey into the night, The choices you make, the bridges you cross Proclaim just how spiritual was your life And how you've handled each invitation, Working it through until the final Journey is taken down life's path. And so in life, as you walk each path, Before the day turns into night, And you now travel to the final Of each and every bridge you cross, Do not reject any holy invitation That so would exalt your life. Then, as you live so full a life And most carefully choose your path, Accepting every Godly invitation, You will not be fearful of the night, Nor dread the bridge you must cross That one day will surely be you're final. Then you proceed on to the final, Spiritual in every part of your life With every bridge that you cross, And with your Lord, walk down each path; You bravely walk into the dark night. Finally, it is a distinct invitation. So now, take the invitation, and proceed to the final. Walk bravely into the night, as you move into a new life. God walks with you on this path, as you finally cross that last bridge. Floria |
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© Copyright 2002 Floria Kelderhouse - All Rights Reserved | |||
Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Wonderfully crafted, floria! ((floria)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher [This message has been edited by Silver Streak (02-05-2002 11:22 AM).] |
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N orth Carolina Girl Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962NC,USA |
Floria,perfectly written and so very beautiful. Juanita |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Newell, thank you very much. I appreciate your reply. floria Juanita, thank you, I really sweated over this, It was difficult, but I like learning new things. floria Floria |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Yes it is fun to learn new forms..this one i have never done..i usually stick with sonnets...nicely done hon..hugss ~Victoria~ |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you Victoria, I start with the hardest first and then work backwords. I think I will try the sonnet next. floria Floria |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Floria, Even though I may not agree with your beliefs, I respect and admire this poem and your faith. Well done. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Opeth, thank you, I do know that you do not agree with my beliefs, and never would I push it on you or anyone else. I have a lot of respect for your writing. floria Floria |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
You did this so well, Floria. I know that the sestina is one of the most difficult forms of poetry....I don't think I would have the nerve to try one....but yours turned out beautifully. I hope that your philosphy about life and death is correct. I haven't really figured out what my philosphy on it is, just yet...According to Jewish religious philosphy, life on earth is more important than what comes after...which is believed to be reincarnation into a newborn body. I wish I could believe that my departed loved ones would greet me when I died, but I am a very cynical person...and according to my religion...they have been re-born into another body; and of course being cynical...I tend to question everything...but I do wish I had your faith. It must be very comforting. copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you so much Lyra, I respect your beliefs. We are not all the same in that area. And I do believe in heaven and that my son is there and I will see him again. It is comforting, You are so right about that. Thank you for always replying to my work. floria Floria |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Floria, An excellent write and I enjoyed the read. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you Seymour very much floria Floria |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Floria, I think you did a wonderful job with this. A sestina is a difficult task (I had to write mine backwards, lol) and you pulled this off with much grace. (I ate three bottles of aspirin and whined for a month!) Brava, dear lady! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Lovely |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Serenity thank you, I have since replaced a few words. I am always trying to improve and when do you stop. Like painting a picture, You could overdo it and ruin it, which I have done. LOL thanks much floria Interloper thanks much for your reply. floria Floria |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, this is wonderful, this is a fabulous sestina!!! BRAVO!!! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, may we all embrace Him and fear not the darkness, this is fantastic! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Floria, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Floria~ this is so lovely, and so haunting....all different emotions....lovely work.... Lauren~ Step through the |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
WOW!!!This is absolutely stunning. I have never tried to write this way before because I don't think I have the talent for it but you sure do...this is amazing..Magnificent writing. **big hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Flori(d)a~ I greatly admire your talent~ I've struggled over a 'form' or two ... but have managed to successfully detour around this one~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
....Fantastic!!.... ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Wonderful words of wisdom and truth...James |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
strbbux - I have walked in hand with whom you write. It was scary, and it did change a life... Great poem, great thoughts... BC |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Noah thank you as always for your kind thoughts. floria Lauren thanks so much for your kind reply. floria startime, it is hard to believe you couldn't do this, you are so talented. floria Marge, thanks so much for reading and replying, yep, it was hard, but it also was fun. floria Floria "Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them" (Oliver Wendell Holmes) [This message has been edited by strbbux (02-06-2002 10:01 AM).] |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Enchantress, thank you so much. floria James, I do thank you . floria thank you Bill for your thoughts on this, floria Floria |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Dear Floria, This is wonderful. I wrote a sestina a few months ago, so I know how hard it is. This is very very good. Not only does nothing look forced, but you presented your beliefs (and mine) so well that a person wouldn't even notice the sestina-ishness of it if she weren't looking for it. Great sestina. Nan |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you Nan so very much, I guess it was worth the effort, and an effort it was. floria Floria |
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