Open Poetry #17 |
Dream Or Premonition |
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Dream or Premonition It is a late summer evening with the fresh washed smell of new rain still hanging in the air The sun is warm as it soaks up the remaining drops left over from the recent sun shower He has finally finished his work for the day and what hasn’t been done can be picked up tomorrow For now he wants to relax in the quiet surroundings of his home, set near the forest without the disturbing presence of neighbors As he leans back, in his hammock, strung between two stately trees, he surveys the peaceful beauty leading to the unmarked forest behind him Placing hands behind his head and letting his gaze follow the line of the trees he marvels at the blueness of the sky with just a few fluffy white clouds floating by He closes his eyes for a minute and breathes deeply of the sent of pine, earth and fresh rain Even as part of him rejoices in the serene beauty of it all, he feels the loneliness of no one to share this tranquil scene with Eyes still closed his senses pick up a sound that increases with its persistence Opening his eyes and looking about for the direction of the sound, that now has become annoying, he spots a large black cat sitting close by watching and demanding his attention He calls out to it to no avail so he tries to return to his pleasant pastime, although he is slightly curious about where this strange cat came from The cat would not be deterred from his mission as he continued his loud caterwauling to get the man’s attention Deciding the only way to be able to return to his rest he leaves his hammock and approaches the cat asking it what the problem was Once he is on his feet the cat takes off, at a run, towards the forest, stopping at intervals to renew his racket He has heard of dogs doing this kind of thing when wanting someone to follow them but the idea that a cat would be as intelligent was too amazing to accept Nevertheless, he follows the cat into the forest, never quite loosing sight of him, as the cat leads the way, halting frequently, with what appear to be impatient looks on his face As they moved deeper still into the now darkening forest he notices that the path, being traveled, is no longer familiar Suddenly loosing sight of the cat as it went around a bend he increases his pace, to come to an abrupt halt as he rounds the bend He becomes transfixed as all his senses become alert to the indescribable beauty before him Right before him is a large meadow covered with the thickest, greenest, grass, sprinkled through with a myriad of multicolored wildflowers all bathed in perfect evening sunlight Standing in the middle of this meadow with the black cat circling her legs stands a beautiful woman gazing at him with soft brown eyes Her hair was chestnut falling in gentle waves past her shoulders, framing a face showing a small hesitant smile Her gown is the lightest green, falling smoothly to her ankles as it clings lightly to her perfect figure, blending with the grass at her feet His heart begins to beat faster as he gazes upon this lovely vision of nature and womanhood He closes his eyes, takes a deep gulp of sweet air as he tries to calm his thundering heart And opens them, with a start hearing a persistent noise that drives him from his hammock to see a black cat calling to him Karen Torbiak© |
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© Copyright 2001 Karen Torbiak - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Wow! What a story, Karen. Are you going to do a sequel to it! I'd like to see what happens next. Very well done! God bless America, my home sweet home. |
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Amused Cupid Junior Member
since 2001-10-24
Posts 40 |
This is fabulous, I was imagining all the beauty of nature that you drew so creatively within this wonderful poem. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WOW!! Karen you are a wonderful story teller as well! This is more than good....it is terrific! Enjoyed, hugs, Nancy. ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting writing...James |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
Awesome Karen, you have my attention! ENCORE, ENCORE!! |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Elizabeth...thank you so very much. There is no sequel but I do love to weave visions. I might think about posting my Dream Weaver Series here but they are long like this one. **hugs** Amused Cupid...Thank you so much....I do love to use lots of words to bring the vision of what I am seeing alive. I am so glad you like it. **hugs** Nancy...Oh yes, I can weave some quite magical tales. They are called Dream Weavers. **hugs** I am so glad you liked this. James...How would you have liked it to end, sweet man? **hug** RosePetal...*giggling* I am glad it didn't put you to sleep...these writings of mine can be pretty long. **hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I Iike, I also must reread in the AM eyes are getting hazy. happy dreams Sandra |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
more MORE More!!! Karen Sweet dreams....enjoy your words... Greeneyes~ [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (edited 11-27-2001).] |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
so much to hold the reader. I always fear trying such a long piece, but you did this very well. ever deep...runs |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I've got the black cat, two of them in fact, perhaps I should secure myself a hammock. Beautiful, fairytale feel to this! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Duncan's response made me smile..this was a nicely woven dream... ~Wynter "For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
What an enchanting story Karen. I love the ending to this. No sequel?? That’s okay, I can make up my own continuation, as he finds the woman in real life, and they live happily ever after. For, as Duncan says, this is like a fairytale, and fairytales always have happy endings. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Wow... Let's hope that was a premonition... I really liked the imagery of the meadow with multi-coloured flowers spread across it... So beautiful! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
What a nice story. I don't usually read long pieces but I could not tear my eyes away form this enthralling tale. 1derful piece Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Sandra...It's it wonderful to get lost in fantasies like this once in a while. **hugs**I am so very glad you enjoyed it. Greeneyes...Thank you,so much. I do have many more like this. The two are long and I will post one every so often. I am so very glad you liked it. **hugs** A Whispers Caress...I love to write these visions. When I see them there is so much detail that I want everyone to see them so I tend to go on and on. I am glad you enjoyed it and were not bored. **hugs** Duncon...*sigh* this one was actually inspired by my black cat. I just couldn't resist weaving a tale around him and his personality. I am glad you liked this little fairy tale. **hugs** Wynter...everyone needs to lose themselves in dreams like this once in a while. I have a tendency to dream them a lot. Thank you for enjoying this poem.**hug** Tracey...*giggling* Good plan then everyone can put their own ending on it and it will always end happily. **hugs** Mon Cherie...That is the way that I see it too, as a premonition. I am so happy you liked it. **hugs** Interloper...WOW!! I know you don't like long pieces and I didn't expect you to read this one. I am trilled that you not only read it but liked it. **hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*Wow* what a story, love the vision you present here, Love it a lot!!! |
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sigheyes Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 323the winds of destiny |
A wonderful write Karen. I enjoy your words. *s* |
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