Open Poetry #17 |
discriminated memories |
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
rush me into this thing and then rush me out ignite my desires and then set me free and then i the cannonball shall commute aimlessly in wander unobsessed by the arms of discriminated memories then everything that rushes towards me shall become a comparison to what had rushed before and won't quite equal the torque of the rush that i felt then in those discriminated memories when all around me was surrounded by the mist of you and now that you are gone the mist remains or maybe it is from the confused smoke coming out of the fuse of this cannonball running amok perplexed in and out of those discriminated memories then ask me to smile so that what flashes shall disguise the dark hollow of the shadows creeping from those discriminated memories |
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© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Sudhir, I was just saying2myself the other day it's been a while that I've taken a glance at a poem you've shared and thank goodness I have some time this morning cuz this poem I just finished reading is TRULY OUTSTANDING... Honestly sweetie this is another one of my favorites that you have penned... Thanx4a terrific read and hugs2uPoetFriend *~coco~* [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 11-21-2001).] |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
OMG, Sudhir, this is a fantastic, well written poem. The way you meander back and forth through the memories, the loose canonball imagery...superb. Profound angst. |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
BRAVO!!!!You write this so very well. We all try to hide from hurtful memories. Very well said. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Sudhir, your free verse is amazing. You must keep going! This is simply a journey through your heart and soul. Kathleen |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
enjoyed reading this, Sudhir... *smiles* ~Tier |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Sudhir! Very well done! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very profound and well written free verse Sudhir! (of course I love everything you write!) Hugs, Nancy ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is excellent writing, sudhir!! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
nothing like putting all of your cards on the table and having a straight flush... Nicely done...liked the imagry of the cannonball, the fuse with smoke...darn memories...always there...can't erease them. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Sudhir, this is wonderful. Those memories can feel just like this, what an excellent description. Sandra |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
This is great.The imagery and description is amazing. Peaches |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Wow, my friend. I sit in awe of your amazing talent. This was exceptional!! All writing comes |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WOW, I am really amazed by these showers of kindness from my dear friends... thank you all very much... Regards, Sudhir |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
when all around me was surrounded by the mist of you and now that you are gone the mist remains or maybe it is from the confused smoke coming out of the fuse of this cannonball running amok perplexed in and out of those discriminated memories ************ ************ Well now, in my absence, you certainly haven't lost your power to empale us with your ever wonderful talent with words and comparisons. Such a remarkable talent you share with us and an excellent read indeed. A treat and a treasure. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
"then ask me to smile so that what flashes shall disguise the dark hollow of the shadows creeping from those discriminated memories" -- That verse particularly struck me...smile to disguise the dark hollow...how often I feel like that.....poignant verse here, with phenomenal imagery. I am glad I took the time to read! Exellent writing, Sudhir. *Krista Knutson* |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Mark and Krista, thank you both very much, for coming by and sharing your thoughts... Mark, it feels indeed great to see you regards, sudhir |
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