Open Poetry #17 |
Playwright |
craigrk Member
since 2001-12-23
Posts 123 |
Playwright He was what he repressed, ignored, denied, resisted, like the pale and knotted crust of a limp and aged hand reality's veneer was shattered by a phantasmagoric sleep. This apocalypse of him as him, a will be reined by freedom's reign and he would be as he sleeps - know what he was when he loved. He was overzealous (codeine and Capulet) Professed himself of primal root and total alienation, thus compelled to babble love in death's anticipation, reach for mineral soils of stage conceive of timeless stageless stage - bloom another's other. |
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© Copyright 2001 craigrk - All Rights Reserved | |||
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
It's your second stanza which drives home the idea that your playwright lived vicariously through his stage..that provokes an interesting thought. Might I suggest that reach be changed to reached? That might make the second verse stick better. Just a thought.Good use of repeated words.Welcome to Passions [This message has been edited by ecrivan (12-31-2001 11:55 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Dang, you're good! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this is excellent. I am/Kathleen/ |
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dieadra New Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 4 |
mineral soils of stage. great. |
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