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Open Poetry #17
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GenXer
Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA

0 posted 2001-12-30 03:48 PM





All the sand has fallen,
it is time to say goodbye
Beneath this newly formed desert
is where my body now lies

The sandstorm that lasted a lifetime
has finally come to an end
I’m moving on to a placid state
where my thirsty heart can mend

So these eyes that created streams
can now rest in blissful peace
Their sentence has been served
It’s time for them to be released

And so all the rivers that ran
are now just about dry,
and all the sand has fallen,
it is time I say goodbye




© David 2001

[This message has been edited by GenXer (12-30-2001 03:49 PM).]

© Copyright 2001 GenXer - All Rights Reserved
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
1 posted 2001-12-30 03:55 PM


very sad poem-- I would rather think of leaving the desert with head held high having survived to find my own oasis here on earth--
take care,
Jamie

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
2 posted 2001-12-30 04:07 PM


Lovely poem, I picture the hourglass emptying for the person. Good imagery

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-12-30 04:21 PM


with every grain counted,
in tears, the rivers yet flow
I hear you say goodbye
but I don't want you to go......
I like this very much

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
4 posted 2001-12-30 07:18 PM


Dave darling boy How absolutely first rate is this? It's incredible, YOU are a fabulous writer. YES you are and don't argue, I told you I'll be round if you do.

This is so full of amazing imagery, I love it. As always sad darling boy, I'm going to have to find some way to bring back those poems that I really love. I want to have some more of your special Moontown smiles. Pretty please.

Absolutely Fabulous


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
5 posted 2001-12-30 07:28 PM


This is such a fitting piece for this time of year...what with the end of the year and all.  Here is where I could see the hope though...

"So these eyes that created streams
can now rest in blissful peace"

Goodbyes are sometimes the best thing we could ever do.  Cool job!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
6 posted 2001-12-30 07:57 PM


Beautiful imagery here, Dave...but very sad and so haunting.

And so all the rivers that ran
are now just about dry,
and all the sand has fallen,
it is time I say goodbye

If you don't mind my saying so, you are much too sarcastic to be writing such beautiful words.

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-12-30 08:02 PM


there are indeed some very powerful images here. . .

well done. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

GenXer
Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA
8 posted 2001-12-30 11:06 PM


Jamie - So would I.  Thanks for reading.

Tracey - Thank you for reading and commenting.

Sea - I like the stanza you put together.  It is a good rebuttal to this write.

Marsha - I will argue with you if I want to, but I won't.   You enjoy turning my face red, don't you.

Amusemi - You are definitely more of an optimist then I am.lol  Actually, I didn't think about that, but there is some hope to be found in those lines.  Thanks for reading.

Lyra - Actually, I have split personalities.  The person that writes is different from the person that replies.lol

Sven - Thanks for checking this out.


Dave  

[This message has been edited by GenXer (12-30-2001 11:44 PM).]

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