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Open Poetry #17
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A Deeper Kind Of Ache
| Open Poetry #17 |
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A Deeper Kind Of Ache |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you 
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She watched, where only eyes could touch Reaching out to feel with emotions Would be too much Her heart couldn’t take The sentimental overflow She wasn’t ready to learn Didn’t want to know He would be the one To stir her heart awake His would be the kind of longing A deeper kind of ache The one she could never Have too much of The man, she knew She would always love ~SEA~  watching, her from across the way to night’s music gentle sway her eyes lingered then abated too soon now seemingly lost to view the moon he wondered if he just imagined to hear her heart say if only you’d ask I’d answer, ‘you may’ So courage he mustered Let his heart take a chance With nervous voice he asked her, May I have this dance? ~SEA~ [This message has been edited by SEA (12-27-2001 10:13 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Her heart couldn’t take The sentimental overflow She wasn’t ready to learn Didn’t want to know Can so relate to this...last verse left me hoping for a sequel. Love the title, Susan! |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
I watched the story of Audrey Hepburn last night and a lot of leading men wanted that first dance...too bad she is gone now, she had a wonderful mind! I have a poem called Safari Circus on the bottom of page two you might like to read, it also deals with a pertinent issue.  |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Soooooo sad but gorgeous, sweet Susan, it too can feel so sad to see these dances as an imagination of love when you wish for the real thing in heartache. (sad sigh) I long to be with my love, and I feel I'm dancing with her always! (kiss on cheek) You always write so beautifully, sweet friend, you always light these pages with your loving heart! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Susan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She watched, where only eyes could touch Reaching out to feel with emotions Would be too much =================================== He would be the one To stir her heart awake His would be the kind of longing A deeper kind of ache The one she could never Have too much of The man, she knew She would always love =========================== ahhh yes..the unending ache...the ache of again...the 3 am ache .... some things just hurt so good  very cool write Sea...like the poetic set here. 2 aches for the price of one *S* jm You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do. |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
A very interesting concept, the posting of 2 interconnecting poems with the painting separating, yet connecting them with the appropriate imagery for the setting. Very good. The first two lines of the first part captures the reader's attention IMO. I enjoyed reading this. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Susan, Everything flows so perfectly, your words... the picture... the feelings. I really enjoyed this. Excellent work Hugs, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Oh...I love it......it flows perfectly like the dance that one feels through each word read. BRAVO!!!!**hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Susan - Do you women really think these things? I had no idea all I had to do was to ask for a dance. I always thought you gals were thinking...a response is needed here... |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Duncan~ I don’t know about a sequel, but thank you Ecrivan~ I read it, thanks for the directions Noah~ thank you sweet one Janet~ yes, you know the ache….it does hurt rather good, doesn’t it?! Opeth~ thank you, glad you liked Tara~ thanks, you are too nice to me! Startime~ how nice, thank you LJA~ yes, well, I do….. ~SEA |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This is beautiful SEA. It takes courage to ask for that first hearts dance, but is so well worth the gamble. I love the way you’ve written this. I too am wondering if there will be a sequel If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Not much more I can add...this is a lovely woven tapestry of poetry...yet timeless. Nice work, Sue! |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
SEA, So you'll teach me to dance? Cool... |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
I just had to come back and make sure I understood what you were writing. Just in case we ever meet around a dance floor somewhere... heh |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Sue! I love this! The presentation is absolutely super! Of course the poem is terrific but then anything coming from you is....you are glowing girl! hugs. *~ Wishing everyone a New Year filled with Peace & Love ~* |
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dawn to dusk Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 68Colorado |
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I especially liked the way you presented it! great job. Noelle "Hold fast to dreams, for is dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly" Langston Hughes |
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dawn to dusk Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 68Colorado |
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I especially liked the way you presented it! great job. Noelle "Hold fast to dreams, for is dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly" Langston Hughes |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
so in tune with my thoughts, this evening, this is moving. iambic- |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
I really enjoyed this. I could feel the anticipation in every line. Deb |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Sea - I could envision the eyes connecting across the room before he could muster the courage to ask her to dance. The first stanza was definitely great, really pulled the reader in. Dave |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
ahh this was cool i liked the pictures blends in like butter. this whole poem is just marvelous. definately something to save, my friend. |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
very sweet made me smile |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
yes Sea, that ache, that unending ache... this is just lovely. *s* On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
SEA- Beautifully expressed anticipation. I enjoyed this. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (12-30-2001 04:52 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah girl...your talent is showing... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I have to agree with Karilea...your talent is truly showing...a very romantic write.. The first dance...dance of many more.... |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
This brings back memories and emotions from a while back....a long while back. First dance...first kiss....first love...first time. Dan Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream. |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
I love it. |
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