Open Poetry #17 |
Winter Pond - A Sestina |
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Winter Pond I rise up well before the winter haze Has lifted off the surface of the pond This is the most exquisite time of days That only feathered flock innately knows If snow will fall into a powdery glaze Before the sun can penetrate the dawn And so I sit and wait for early dawn Still wrapped in midnights blanket, for the haze On such a day as this will surely glaze A silvery sheen of ice upon the pond But only blue of blue jay surely knows What lies ahead on this, the day of days I have lived the better portion of my days And never knew the coming of the dawn For only speckled sparrow surely knows What lies below the depth of misty haze And I cannot decipher field and pond Just nearby fence that’s wrapped in a sheet of glaze My weary eyes are shrouded in a glaze For I have reached the sunset of my days But every morning sit and watch the pond The sunset of today, tomorrow’s dawn The future time is but an unknown haze That only yellow wing of warbler knows If he could somehow tell, the one who knows If Christmas will be donned in silver glaze The red of cardinal through the morning haze Would speak to me on this, the day of days Though light is slowly creeping through the dawn Andsoon the mist will lift off road and pond The seasons change upon a beaver pond And only blue of blue jay surely knows Before the night has given way to dawn What life will bring beyond a morning glaze If snow will whiten all in coming days The mystery beneath the morning haze Beyond the winter pond in sunset’s silvery glaze As sure as starling knows the coming his days I’d still be blind at dawn, until the lifting of the haze Elizabeth Santos |
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© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Exquisite. A Saturday morning enrapture... thank you... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
A sestina is one of the most difficult poetic formats to compose... You've done a magnificent job, as you always do... Thank you for the warm smile, dear Liz... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You are amazing, Elizabeth! Your talent knows no end! Beautifully done! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thank you lady poets And Nan, your smile makes me smile. You know how confusing these things can get Thank you all Liz |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well blow me over with a feather! Now if that was not the most beautiful sestina I ever read (and probably the first one I knew I read) LOL, whatever it is called, it was simply b-ooot-e-full. ~*~ The Very Best Of The Season To You And Yours ~*~ |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Elizabeth, I had never heard of a sestina...but yours has left me wanting more. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
I couldn't highlight one particular section of this, Liz...the entire poem is fantastic! And, I'm not too familiar with sestinas either, but it does look quite complicated! Beautiful job! sp And did you know with the rain in your pockets, |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Elizabeth, I would be envious were it not that you so freely share your visions with us.Thank you. Doc |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Oh my gosh, this is soooooooo beautiful, I've never heard of a sestina, but I'm going to learn to write one like your breathtakingly beautiful one here! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! (big hugggsssss) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Elizabeth, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Liz ... this was absolutely delightful. What a brilliant sestina ... bravo! Merry Christmas to you and yours, my sister of rhyme. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
you are truly amazing when you write and leave us always in awe after reading, and this one is no exception. Beautiful....beautiful gem as always. Merry Christmas Charisma |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Liz- Wow...this is incredible, as are you! Just wonderful, my friend. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
Wow is all I can say. Peaches |
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Glenn Logan Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 111Virginia |
Beautiful writing! I loved much of this, and although the effort of creating this poem in such a formal and difficult pattern may have helped sharpen your imagery, I suspect you could make this still more effective by ignoring the formal structure and relying on your excellent ear and eye to use only as much formal structure as is truly needed to shelter the thoughts. To me, a sestina (or a sonnet, for that matter) isn't Frost's net -- it's a cage that keeps the songbird sadly confined. And although your cage is very pretty, I'd love to see the caged bird sing more freely. With all best wishes, Glenn Logan |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thank yoou, dear poets for your comments on this sestina, and Glenn, I must agree with your remarks. Such structured verse dowsn't allow you to flap your wings. Its more of a puzzle than it is creative writing. It I worked on this piece I could improve on it, but i don'r have the patience. THanks for your remarks Liz |
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