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Open Poetry #17
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Heavenly Star (A Duet With Bill Charles)
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Heavenly Star (A Duet With Bill Charles) |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 “HEAVENLY STAR” by Noah Eaton & Bill Charles ~~~~ Look upon the star crowning our tree What is it that you see? In the blink of an eye under His golden manger Where Mary cradles our loving Saviour A star shines down, with its brightness My eyes see, as they gaze Into the heavens, and into His place A babe in swaddling clothes, to amaze I see eyes that shine with light A boy with a tender warm face He talks to angels through the night Comforting His holiness with billows of grace Eyes of radiance, guiding in the night A male child, to smile with His grace Soft words spoken, to the halo above Bathed with her glow, at His birthplace I see meadows of hands laid before His presence Murmuring in mirth and praise Stars, tears, and frankincense The greatest love begins to raise Colors of many hands, to worship one many gifts to give, to our king all that you have spoken of a love of enlightenment, absolving Yes, I see His love when I glance at this star In His unconditional love we are feathered This blessing that shall never mar Protecting us from every storm we’ve weathered I see a love also Noah, from this heavenly star Unconditional, as you have written And a blessing, to be for always Knowing, He will never abandon… ~~~~ [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (12-19-2001 03:00 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A wonderful duet from two worthy poets! How kind of both of you to grace our pages for the holidays with this Keeper... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
A wonderful duet from both fine poets. Enjoyed it much gentleman. On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
A beautiful duet.. I expected no less from such two talented men  I enjoyed.Hugs to you both, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Beautiful Duet Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Christmas time, spirit of many wonderful poets and you two are an amazing duet that shows the light of Christmas very well Love it!!! Charisma |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
To coin a phrase...Gentlemen, start your engines... You guys have won the race...nicely done... |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
What a fantastic collaboration you two, and many kudos to you. I printed this one out and it will be read aloud to some older folks that are really going to enjoy it (of course I always mention who wrote it). Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
This is splendid! Enjoyed it very much you two! Nice work |
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dawn to dusk Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 68Colorado |
Awsome job you two! Together you work so well, you sound like one poet. You collaborate very well! Noelle |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Noah and Bill, WOW!! You two write so well together! This is magnificent! A wonderful duet by two worthy poets. ~Hugs, Nancy~ "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Bill and Noah oh my this is truly fabulous, you two have sung such a duet that the whole world would stand still to listen. Normally each of your writing is wonderful, united together in this duet it is Love and warm stuff As always Mushy    To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Beautiful words from both poets. Thanks for this one I read it to my kids and they loved it. |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Bravo!!!! Well done!!! Do it again... |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Lovely writing from two talented poets! Nathan |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Noah - I have read all of the replies that were received by this writing. They are all most warm, kind, and have touched me very deeply. You my friend, made this one possible by your wonderful talent, as a poet, and a sincere and warm human being. When I wrote my words, they just flowed from the ones that you had written. I thank you my friend, and everyone that replied to this writing, for it is special to me. Thank you again Noah... and Merry Christmas to you, and to all of you... BC |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Oh my gosh...another masterpiece. You two are just amazing...you blended so well to give us this vision of beauty. I love it. Very well done, Bill and Noah...**big hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Noah & Bill, Well boys...you done good. 'Tis the reason for the season. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey, Noah and Bill... A duet? Nice... back in Teen Poetry we called these "collaborations."  Funny how the terminology shifts from forum to forum. In any case, I'm a big fan of these, I've written a ton of them in the past. I find it's a great way to connect to a fellow writer.Yours is no exception... the exchange from stanza to stanza illustrates and contrasts between two skills that I'm quite unfamiliar with (as the new guy to the forums), but can still recognize with some effort. First off let me comment on the structure. Neither of you restricted yourselves with a really strict syllable scheme or meter of any sort, and that's good for collaborations, it keeps two people from frustrating one another when writing. Although the flow is a bit slow to start off, once I got into reading this I had no problems. Because of the more irregular rhythm, more attention was drawn to the words themselves as a recited poem (rather than poetry that's sometimes better sung or stammered in bouncing iambs). Gave it that small-time poetry pub feel, like someone was sitting on a stool, reading it out. Very cool flow. The rhyme scheme went back and forthies too, back and forthies, both of you using your own. WOW! I love back and forthies! Go us!  (edit in - ok well it wasn't REALLY back and forthies, but something like that. You guys switched it up a lot you know?)Ok well in all seriousness, this piece is structurally sound. The imagery you used also did a lot for the piece, and the simple concept to it kept it from over-complexifying itself and making it into a confusing mass of mumbo-jumbo or disagreeal between authors. See you around, guys. If either of you ever need a partner in penning, my email addy is on the yellow envelope icon... ~Allan [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (12-20-2001 12:34 AM).] |
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MrLeslie Junior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 23Island of JERSEY, British Channel Isles UK |
Absoulutely awesome Noah....Well done to you both! MrLeslie. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
What do you know...lights to shine in the darkness, and you two do it so very well Keth. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very nice my friends - I enjoyed Have a wonderful holiday : |
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