navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #17 » The Moth
Open Poetry #17
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Moth Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA

0 posted 2001-12-18 04:26 PM



The Moth

On powdered great wing
Moth flew against spider’s string
Then grew very still

Spider in his weave
Hurried to moth so quiet
Then grew very still

Moth, air apparent
Struggled not against chain’s bond
She stayed very still

Music played her soul
Desire in her grew too warm
Spider vibrated

Moth stayed very still
Spider began his dance then
Shook her free again

On powdered great wing
Moth she flew away on song
Spider eyed his loss

~*~

dedicated to an elf


© Copyright 2001 Lady In White - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2001-12-18 04:34 PM


(smiles) YAY!!! I LOVE IT!!! (smiles) Such a beautiful poem of song and beauty in the heart of nature! (smiles) May the moth and spider forever embrace the light of friendship in the spirit of nature! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so very much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet lady, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-12-18 05:01 PM


I disagree with Noah's interperetation of the poem... what I saw when reading it was a moth who waited for the spider to let his guard down, and grow overly confident, before she flew away while he was distracted and the time was right.

I like the form you used, a chain of senryu (I forget what it's called).  Works well for poems such as these.  This sounds like a fable of some sort.

I was very impressed with it.  Glad this elf of yours could so inspire...  

~Allan

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (12-18-2001 05:02 PM).]

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2001-12-18 07:01 PM


Yes, a great loss....

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
4 posted 2001-12-18 11:00 PM


Lady In White - I believe that I have captured the thoughts in this writing. I may be way off, but very meaningful to me...

BC

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-12-18 11:08 PM


whoa! Powerful write dear Lady....I like this
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2001-12-19 01:00 AM


I am glad the desire in this moth grew too strong, one clever moth there and one heck of an elf I might add too.

~*~ The Very Best Of The Season To You And Yours ~*~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-12-19 01:35 AM


Moth stayed very still
Spider began his dance then
Shook her free again

On powdered great wing
Moth she flew away on song
Spider eyed his loss
==================================

that spider didnt know how to spin a winkie-web LOL
me thinks you give the moth way too much credit...if that spider was a pretty blue flame..she wouldnt have flown away
very cool Lady....heres to elfin magic

You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do.
Thats the way love is ... sky blue and black.


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #17 » The Moth

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary