Open Poetry #17 |
The Moth |
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
The Moth On powdered great wing Moth flew against spider’s string Then grew very still Spider in his weave Hurried to moth so quiet Then grew very still Moth, air apparent Struggled not against chain’s bond She stayed very still Music played her soul Desire in her grew too warm Spider vibrated Moth stayed very still Spider began his dance then Shook her free again On powdered great wing Moth she flew away on song Spider eyed his loss ~*~ dedicated to an elf |
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© Copyright 2001 Lady In White - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) YAY!!! I LOVE IT!!! (smiles) Such a beautiful poem of song and beauty in the heart of nature! (smiles) May the moth and spider forever embrace the light of friendship in the spirit of nature! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so very much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet lady, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I disagree with Noah's interperetation of the poem... what I saw when reading it was a moth who waited for the spider to let his guard down, and grow overly confident, before she flew away while he was distracted and the time was right. I like the form you used, a chain of senryu (I forget what it's called). Works well for poems such as these. This sounds like a fable of some sort. I was very impressed with it. Glad this elf of yours could so inspire... ~Allan [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (12-18-2001 05:02 PM).] |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Yes, a great loss.... |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Lady In White - I believe that I have captured the thoughts in this writing. I may be way off, but very meaningful to me... BC |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
whoa! Powerful write dear Lady....I like this |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I am glad the desire in this moth grew too strong, one clever moth there and one heck of an elf I might add too. ~*~ The Very Best Of The Season To You And Yours ~*~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Moth stayed very still Spider began his dance then Shook her free again On powdered great wing Moth she flew away on song Spider eyed his loss ================================== that spider didnt know how to spin a winkie-web LOL me thinks you give the moth way too much credit...if that spider was a pretty blue flame..she wouldnt have flown away very cool Lady....heres to elfin magic You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do. |
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