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Open Poetry #17
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She's worth the risk
| Open Poetry #17 |
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She's worth the risk |
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Robert A Member
since 2001-10-29
Posts 174 |
(I can't rhymne very well so this is about half/half) Once I left Memphis, flew out in a rage just can't seem to fit those feelings on a page Once, I left New Orleans, Mardis Gras was done, she was crying for me, but I couldn't be the one. I walked along Miami Beach the sun was going down but I knew it was over and I quickly left that town. Then I drove to Dallas, and entered a cafe just a cup of coffee, nothing left to say. But once I looked up at her smile I nearly fell apart this woman took my order but then she stole my heart. I tried to leave, to just move on I'd done it all the time but God, her body and her words I had to make her mine. I sat transfixed like in a dream I'd finally met someone who I could not just "walk away" now, how will she believe me cause I don't even believe myself. It's real and full of meaning tell me I'm not dreaming How can I convince her that it's real? Maybe it's too late for me I've used too many lines. but maybe, if I stick around I'll get it right this time. She's worth the time, she's everything I never thought existed. But she does, she's here and I cannot resist. She's worth the risk to me. [This message has been edited by Robert A (edited 12-18-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Robert A - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This just flies down the page, Robert, and I liked the imagery.... |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"she's everything I never thought existed" scary feeling isn't it???  but so wonderful too  I liked this very much |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is wonderul, and I could relate very personally. *smiling as I remember* Funny, how one person can remove cynicism and make ya feel brand new! Nice write...I enjoyed this. |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
The proof of her value to you is in your words. Share this poem with her and then show her every chance you get that you are sincere. *grin* Great poem filled with wonderful feelings of being in love. **hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Great write, Robert. Nice mix of rhyme and free style. Enjoyed! |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
your rhyme is just fine! This is beautifully expressed. Best wishes to you! RP |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh my gosh, this is sooooooo beautiful, I'm so happy to feel that you're in love! (smiles) Share the words of your heart to her, for it is a risk worth taking and with such a loving heart like yours, she will fall into her arms of your beauty! (big hugggsssssss) We all wish you the best, sweet friend, you deserve the most beautiful love of all! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Robert, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
I love your poem Robert, it's great...And who says you can't rhyme? The first half was just perfect. I'll be saving this one Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
I never should have quit my restaraunt job!!!! Loved this!!! She's a lucky gal! |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
I enjoyed your poem very much. I thought your rhyming technique was good for the most part, although towards the end you seemed to lose the rhyming. The thought behind your words was very sweet. Cheryl |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
welcome to Passions. Look forward to more, this is quite good. Kathleen (Kay) |
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