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Open Poetry #17
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Long John's Christmas Carols....
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Long John's Christmas Carols.... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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 . (to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town) .  You better watch out You better not cry You better get drapes I'm telling you why Long John's out there lurking around. He'll see you when you're waking And then when you’re asleep He'll see you when you're getting dressed 'Cause Long John loves to peep! So... Keep the lights out Keep the doors locked There is no doubt He's probably crocked Long John's out there lurking around. .   . . (to the tune of Frosty the Snowman) .  Long John the sailor Was a Bluebeard through and through Women lived in fear To see him come near With that mirror in his shoe! Long John the sailor Was a hiney-grabbing lout Ladies never knew What that man might do Every time that he was out. He must have been So full of gin He couldn't help himself But girls would hear When he came near.. "Hey! You wanna touch my elf?!" OH.. Long John the sailor Wont be too long for this life There will come a day When our boy will say Something wrong to some man's wife. .  .  . (to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) .  . Long John the drunken sailor Had a very shiny nose And if you ever saw it You would throw up, I suppose. All of the guys at Rudolph's Watched him down three quarts a day, Spent nights completely wasted Chasing all the girls away. Then one foggy Christmas eve Vice cops came to say "Long John, with your razzmatazz Say hello to Alcatraz. There all the inmates loved him As they shouted out with glee "Long John, the drunken sailor, You're as cute as you can be!" .  [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 12-13-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Baladeer....these are tooooo much....I liked all of them...Poor Long John....Surely he can't take this thrashing much longer... |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (giggles wickedly) Oh my gosh, this is soooooooo creative and hilarious, you're killing me, sweet friend! (smiles) That mischievious little Christmas imp! (smiles) Watch out, for he is always a'peeping and drinking! Such a wonderful Christmas poem from your heart, you always amaze me with your beautiful words! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, we all wish you thr happiest holidays! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Hypnosis Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325CO |
I thought this was very funny and creative, I loved all the tunes! You should try to come up with some more, you are very talented at it!lol Randy Meador a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
You lil'  you! You had me in stitches! I love these~  take care cutie patootie, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Balladeer! Now I think you may have gone and done it! LOL...This is just too clever! But, perhaps I should take heed at what you say about ol Long John, since he and I have never met. Best I stay on this side of the border... where I'm safe from him, ya think? Sooooo well done Michael! *Happy Holidays to you and yours*  Hugs, and look out for the mistletoe! Nancy "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You know if I didn't know better I would swear you were the offspring of Hans Christian Andersen Not only were these the cutest, creative little songs I think I have ever sung, but I couldn't make it thorough one without getting the giggles. You got him this time that is for sure Merry Christmas to you and yours Michael, and thank you for just being you and sharing your creativity with everyone.~*~ May the spirit of this season live in your heart all year through ~*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You are SO wicked! Uhm, these will become a Classic repost, but seasonally, I'm sure? |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Your quite a Christmas Rogue yourself, my deer friend... |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Ho Ho Ho Thanks for the smile And the hearty bliss But, LngJhn may put you On his kitty-kickin list Melton |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hey, I can avow this, didn't I get caught between a kiss? Well done Balladeer. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ You've sent me into fits of *giggles* What a creatively comedic write ... LOL ... Want me to post 'my' - "My God, Marge - it's a CHRISTMAS CAROL" one ? Tee-Hee~  Love n' hugs to you~  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
AH! Tis the season to poke fun at the pirate? Loved this sir..and I'm sure he will also - could you make a recording so we can hear you sing them? |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
These were so funny and creative....thanks for the giggles and Happy Holidays to you and yours. Huggles....Shawna How can you save me? |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
LOL! You are so creative, Balladeer. I just love this. I wish you a wonderful christmas. May all your wishes and dreams come true.  |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Balladeer, You are sooooooooo creative. I love this .. thank you for making me laugh .. again. This was muchly enjoyed Hugs, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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sodpossom Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723N.C |
I will never sing them Christmas songs the same again.Very clever and humorous! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I'm trying to bah humbug my way through the season but you and Titia keep making me smile. Your wit and talent are without measure, Balladeer. Thanks for everthing you share with us (and for focusing your aim so accurately on LongJohn...would hate to get caught in any crossfire). |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
This is too funny, especially the mooning snowman! Cor |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, Deer One... Whatcha trying to do... get me fired??? *G* I had to fake a coughing fit to cover my unladylike snorts of laughter!!! I don't know which one I like best... I just know I'll be singing these 3 classics all weekend... so if I burn my Christmas baking (or my fingers) cause I'm howling laughing, it's your fault! LOL   This one isn't just for Christmas... it's for anytime I need a grin. *S* |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
so THAT's who that was outside my window!!!! or was it?  funny stuff my 'deer!! merry christmas! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Dear 'deer, I shouldn't encourage this kind of behaviour, I'm sure. But this is great! I loved them all. Nan |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
HOW ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL ARE THESE WONDERFULL POEMS.  YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOUR TALENT.   Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
hehehe....thank you all! It's always rewarding to have a little fun at Long John's expense...and to have you all get a chuckle out of it make it even more so. Happy holidays to you all!! |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
'Deer dear heart, This is absolutely hilarious. Thank you Thank you Thank you, this had me giggling sooooooooooooo much. YOU really are the cream of the crop. Absolutely excellent I wish there was a smilie for laughing my self into a fit Love and warm stuff As always Mushy   To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
whoooooohooooooooooo Balladeer you are the BEST.......oh no I mean the CUTEST.....or is it the most FABULOUS Poet, well I think you are all....Great and wonderful songs you wrote here... Merry Christmas you too dear "DEER" (((Hugs)) Charisma ~*Theresia~* |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
How could I ever almost overlooked this one!!!  Now I'm giggling all night long Oh Dear Oh Deer Oh Dear Oh Deer am I glad I found you here HUGS, Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
ROFL ... Consider this funny bone tickled. You kept to the tunes beautifully, thanks for the grins Michael! Best wishes, /Kit |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
I have copied and sent the Snow Mooner to many kooky appreciative friends. You are a snowball of fun!!! The line about LJn showing his elf was too funny. "Santa's Lil Helper" was brought to mind. LOL! Love, Peace and Joy! Sincerely, Regina |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Well, and a VERY MERRY Christmas to you too! I really enjoyed these...thank you for this big smile. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Balladeer, Knew I'd love this so waited to give it a bump. Had to sing these to my wife. Great holiday fun! I suppose that drunken sailor is somewhere stuck in a snow bank... |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
"bump" |
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