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Open Poetry #17
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mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814


0 posted 2001-12-13 12:27 PM








I Love You


"Tell me you love me," she said.
It was dark, in the back of a car,
somewhere, and I forget when
or who or even why.  Only that
this was my fifth or sixth by then.

"Tell me you love me," she said.
And me, being the gallant that I am
I said, "I love you."

I really had no idea it would be
so easy until then
not having heard it from anyone
before.
You do understand.
I know you do.
To continue:

She was very generous, this one,
and very much in need.
Others, they would have their fun
and leave.  But not her.
I must say, "I love you,"
a hundred times a week
(okay, it was only ten)
But who's counting?

No, love is not a quantity.
And I could go elsewhere
and get as well for free
but not hear someone tell me back
"I love you" in the throes of
loving me.

No, never again.
As I said,
that was very long ago
and whoever she was
she's most likely dead
judging from all the snow
and other things she took.

Of course, I heard
"I love you" again.
It was in church
before God
and all community.
Also the word "Forever."

That also had its end.
Amen.

So let me say
"I love you."

It means so much to me.

copyright 2001





Click here

to visit my home page.


[This message has been edited by mirror man (edited 12-13-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 mirror man - All Rights Reserved
Zukene_Chic
Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 152
Cali
1 posted 2001-12-13 12:56 PM


That was amazing, and I couldnt say anymore.
mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

2 posted 2001-12-13 01:04 AM


Zukene_Chic: Thank you.  I didn't really expect anyone to like it.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (edited 12-13-2001).]

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
3 posted 2001-12-13 01:39 AM


to be honest, i looked at your title and braced myself for a Hallmarkish love poem...

but i liked its subtlety..nothing is laid out specifically here but it doesn't let the reader feel any lesser..

and the stanza about finding God was brilliant...i marvelled at the way you drew parallels from these two relationships..

this is a keeper..

she's most likely dead
judging from the snow
and other things she took.

you will have to explain these lines to me though, since i don't really get them...thanks


mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

4 posted 2001-12-13 02:15 AM


faterider: No, I doubt Hallmark will want this one.  And you're welcome.
     Snow is a euphemism for cocaine.  She was heavy into drugs, all kinds.  You don't grow old doing that.  
     Thank you again.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (edited 12-13-2001).]

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

5 posted 2001-12-13 02:20 AM


MirrorMan, once again it's a pleasure2come across one of your poems...
Thanx4a terrific read...
*~coco~*

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

6 posted 2001-12-13 02:31 AM


Coco -- thank you.  You are now the third person I didn't expect to like this.  Thank you again.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-12-13 11:34 AM


I really had no idea it would be
so easy until then
not having heard it from anyone
before.
You do understand.
I know you do.
===============================

No, love is not a quantity.
And I could go elsewhere
and get as well for free
but not hear someone tell me back
"I love you" in the throes of
loving me.

============================

some times certain lines of a poem just go thru me....the one I bolded did that just now.
add me to your list of "ones you didnt expect to like this"....
put me up high on it ....
very very cool write mirror man.
jm

Its not like you to say sorry,
I was waitin on a different story.
This time I'm mistaken ...
for handing you a heart worth breaking.

Nickleback

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

8 posted 2001-12-13 01:13 PM


Thank you, Janet.  Okay, you are now the one I most didn't expect to like this.  (ha, ha).  Thanks again.
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
9 posted 2001-12-13 01:38 PM


Three little words that somehow mean more to us than anything else. Oh yes, they can be said without feeling it but when said with the true feelings of the heart they leave a gentle mark on our souls. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
10 posted 2001-12-13 01:43 PM


The first stanza captured my attention. I had no idea where it would end up and that it did turn out the way it did, as I believe it is about your special someone. Well done.

Opeth

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2001-12-13 01:47 PM




BRAVO!!! (sigh) It does mean so much to say you love someone with the heart! (sigh) We all love you so much, sweet friend, your words are always so delightful to read! (sigh) Wonderful!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

12 posted 2001-12-13 02:00 PM


Startime -- thank you.  Yes, I still know what you mean.  

Opeth -- thank you, and I know you mean well, but she was only special in a terrible way.  No fondness there (I have cleaned it up considerably).

Noah -- thank you also.  Glad you enjoyed it.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (edited 12-13-2001).]

Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
13 posted 2001-12-13 02:41 PM


even without music I love it.....excellent as always my friend  

Charisma

~*Theresia~*  

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

14 posted 2001-12-13 07:16 PM


Charisma -- thank you.  I enjoy this too.  Thank you again.
N orth Carolina Girl
Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962
NC,USA
15 posted 2001-12-13 08:03 PM


Mirror man,I really enjoyed the way you showed how people say I love you to get what they want.I guess I`m really backwoods I had no idea snow was cocaine.


Juanita

"always have a smile on your face it makes people wonder what you`re up to:

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

16 posted 2001-12-13 08:14 PM


Juanita -- thank you.  No, you're not backwoods.  Snow is an old word.  Probably not used any more.  I don't know.  Actually, this is just my warped way of saying Merry Christmas (snow and love and all that stuff).  Merry Christmas.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
17 posted 2001-12-13 08:20 PM


Now this I like! A lot!  Very well done...wasn't too sure where you were going with it in the beginning but love where you ended up!  
Well done, Hugs, Nancy.  

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..."

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

18 posted 2001-12-13 10:05 PM


Nancy -- yes, it is a little confused.  That's me.  Thank you.
mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

19 posted 2001-12-14 08:38 PM


To anyone reading this later and drawing a parallel I didn't intend, I would like to only say that God never broke a promise to me.  Thank you.
kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
20 posted 2001-12-16 05:55 AM


thanks for the explanation..i'm glad i asked..makes me understand your poem a bit more...
timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
21 posted 2001-12-16 05:58 AM


Very Powerful...

A very excellent write.

~Timothysangel

*Whatever souls are made of...his and mine are of the same*  ~Emily Bronte'

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