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Open Poetry #17

Lost ( not so good haiku)

Zukene_Chic
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 152
Cali

0 posted 2001-12-10 02:03 AM

My soul seems to be
Ever so lost and I dont
Think it will come back

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2001-12-10 04:12 AM

Senryu
is good too,
and your heart
is still with you,
it shows in
your poetry,
and perhaps
your prose
too

mirror man
Senior Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 814

2 posted 2001-12-14 07:10 PM

I can relate to this. Very direct and precise. Very good.

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

3 posted 2001-12-14 07:34 PM

*sigh* sometimes we do feel lost in life. This poem is so very sad. I don't know much about Haiku but this seems to be a good one. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

4 posted 2001-12-14 07:38 PM

oh so sad written....Like it

Charisma

~*Theresia~*

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2001-12-14 08:38 PM

(big hugggssssss) Oh, dearest friend, I know just how you feel, my heart goes to you! (sad sigh) There are times in all our lives when we feel lost every once in a while, but always believe in your loving heart and you will find the path to riches and joy! (sigh) We all love you so much, sweet friend, our hearts are with you! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

6 posted 2001-12-16 05:50 AM

Nonsense..i think this was well written and one that most of us can relate to..and that is the markings of a good poem, yes??

a suggestion though: i think it would be preferable if each line in a haiku/senryu is a complete thought in itself...

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

7 posted 2001-12-16 06:14 AM

Not GONE...just mis-placed!

It is your soul's desire that comes through that pen that you lay out these beautiful words with.

Timothysangel

*Whatever souls are made of...his and mine are of the same* ~Emily Bronte'

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