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timothysangel1973
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Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
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Never close enough

0 posted 2001-12-09 11:11 PM



What he was to me...

Full of broken promises, angry words, strong heavy hands.

He weakened my every strengh, draining me of self respect.

Battered my soul, and fed my fears, broke my heart and caused my tears.

Horrified me in my wake and followed me into my dreams.

Branded me with his name, and then locked me away from the world.

Keeping me hidden, to terrorize, and manipulate at his convenience.

Silencing my voice to cry out for help, feeding his ego and loving my pain.

But wait !
He's leaving for work.  There are so many things to do.

Pack my bags and call my friend, and take the kids to school.

My heart is fluttering to the beat of a thousand drums...is this fear or the feel of freedom?

Whatever it is, this time I ain't goin' back.

The kid's are confused and trying to understand...got one on my hip, and the other is holding my hand.

Bags are packed, car is running...nothing left to do.

Except to leave him a note that says...

"You never loved me, so now I'm gone.
don't come lookin' I ain't comin' home.
I don't have any plans...but I am free as a bird,
no more heavy hands from you and no more angry words.  I hate what you have done to me...but today I start my life...
As a woman, and a mother...not your pitiful wife."

*Whatever souls are made of...his and mine are of the same*  ~Emily Bronte'

© Copyright 2001 Tima Chavis Cooke - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-12-09 11:13 PM


Loved the strength in this one, good to "see" you up there!

Kathleen (Kay)
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-12-09 11:15 PM


I didn't give my ex a poem....but I left too! I am so glad you didn't stay... I know exactly what this feels like.   Powerful write   (((hugs)))
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
3 posted 2001-12-09 11:21 PM


BRAVO!!!!STANDING OVATION!!! It takes great courage to walk away from that kind of abuse and I am talking from experience. Way to go girl.......give yourself a big pat on the back. **Hugs** Good luck in your new found freedom.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2001-12-10 12:07 PM


YES! I don't know if this is your reality, but it is attitude packed and hope filled! A very good way to tell a story.  

Your storm of assumption feeds anger I am calm enough to hold inside. Don't pretend to know me if you've never put stretched out your heart with since

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2001-12-10 12:26 PM


Well, I certainly hope this is only a poem. No one should have to go through that. You are either a strong woman or a strong writer....or both  
timothysangel1973
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since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
6 posted 2001-12-10 12:37 PM




Irish Rose...Finally made 50...haha...so that I could be seen instead of just heard !

Sea...for me the poem was MY PUNCH !

Startime...thank you soooo much

Temptress...not my reality anymore...got strong and smart *SMILE*

Balladeer...*BOTH*  and a "warrior at heart"

Timothys Angel


*Whatever souls are made of...his and mine are of the same*  ~Emily Bronte'

[This message has been edited by timothysangel1973 (edited 12-10-2001).]

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
7 posted 2001-12-10 01:04 AM


I commend you for your strength, and for your dignity. Make sure that the next man who raises a hand to you is only waving goodbye, for you always deserve the best, and never less.
May you and your children never suffer, but live happily together

...and her crown was formed by the ice in her eyes

JoMason
Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 57

8 posted 2001-12-10 01:30 AM


Timothysangel1973,

To any woman who has been there
I'd like to say I'm so proud of you.
Courage to do, courage to tell.
Courage to help others get well.

God bless you,
Stay strong and keep up the good work.

Jo Mason
12/10/01


Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
9 posted 2001-12-10 02:07 AM


Girl if you were here in my livingroom I would give you fron one sister to another, a huge high five!  Been there, done that, and you keep writing about it, so others will get the courage to get the hell out!  I do every chance I get, and if there are enough of us, perhaps a handful will run for the hills to find their freedom and self esteem.  Well done, I am smiling ear to ear all the way up in Vancouver, Canada.  

~*~  May the spirit of this season live in your heart all year through ~*~


vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
10 posted 2001-12-10 10:55 AM


enjoy
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2001-12-10 11:05 AM


Timothyangle,
I agree with Balladeer and think you are both
A strong write and well done.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
12 posted 2001-12-10 11:35 AM


A strong poet written by a strong woman, Timothy's Angel...
I've never been in that situation, but I know many who have and who haven't had your courage...
I admire you for that and for the beautifully written piece.
It sounds like you've turned lemons into lemonades.
        

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

[This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (edited 12-10-2001).]

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2001-12-10 11:39 AM




BRAVO!!! STANDING OVATION!!! Oh Tima, I'm so happy you had the courage to get up and leave him before he could abuse you again! (wipes tears) This made me cry, and my heart goes out to all the tears you had to go through, but now I'm happy to feel the freedom and hope in your words for a new true love in a brand new day! (sigh) God Bles You, sweet Tima, we all love you so very much! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Tima, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

N orth Carolina Girl
Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962
NC,USA
14 posted 2001-12-10 01:08 PM


Timothys Angel,if you went through this I`m so very sorry.If you have broken away then "you go girl"

Juanita

"always have a smile on your face it makes people wonder what you`re up to:

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
15 posted 2001-12-10 01:48 PM


BRAVO!!  I know so many in situations such as you describe.  Only when the woman realizes her own self worth will she ultimately leave in search of a new life.  I'm late here, but a hearty welcome to Passions.

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
16 posted 2001-12-12 05:59 AM


This little thank you post goes out to everyone of you that read this poem.

I think that the way that I have found my peace with this "dark, rugged square" in my life is by writing about it.

I can put my feelings into the strength of my pen and let it out.

~~My biggest challenge next to raising my children (remaining sane) is to remember that it takes an even stronger person to stay in something like this without losing vision and courage  of somethiing better.

Thank you all so much for your words!

Till we meet again.....
~TimothysAngel

[This message has been edited by timothysangel1973 (edited 12-12-2001).]

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