Serpentine verse - Eden sweet Eden- class work

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Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

0 posted 2001-11-15 07:25 PM

I just made this for class
Serpentine verse = in each line the first and last word must be the same
thought I'd share it with you too
Got inspired by something Duncan said in class

Eden sweet Eden
serpentine verses serpentine

garden of Eden, a lovely garden
home of Adam and Eve, God's home
he created them out of nothing didn't he
darkness to light and again to darkness
love was all around them, everlasting love
strolling thrue the garden, Eve loved strolling
appels on the tree, big juicy shining red appels
God said NO, no appels, but Eve disobeyed God
snake told her to eat one, very intriging this snake
sinn it was said God and he explained to her this sinn
ashamed they became, why, they were never ashamed
lost her right to be there and they became lost
apple of Eve became Adam' s appel
lump in his throat a big lump
home sweet home
sweet home sweet
Eve Adam Eve
Adam Eve Adam
parents of parents
mistake said the snake biting his own tail by mistake

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (edited 11-15-2001).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2001-11-15 07:43 PM

Wonderful Titia! Enjoyed this tonight. Nancy.

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2001-11-15 08:09 PM

Titia~
What a lovely, lovely form to work with~

I'm afraid I've played hookey from class this semester ...
but, I'll be back ... probably with the 'eraser cleaning duty' for a month !!

This is truly a unique piece of poetry~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2001-11-15 08:41 PM

Titia....what a wonderful job! You make it look easy and it certainly is not. Excellent work, dear lady

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-11-15 09:28 PM

Oh goodie you posted it here too ....
I will repeat myself then

teehee

WOW ... WAAAAY COOL......
not only did ya do the line requirement of the repetative word...but ya made it a shape poem as well......
VERY COOL and CLEVER Titia ...
YOU get the teachers apple and a star for this

well done poetess

You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do.
In the sunlight, in the shadows ...
No ... I'll never stop looking for you.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-11-16 05:45 PM

Wow, Titia, I am impressed here. This could not have been easy!!!

Kathleen
(Kay)

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

6 posted 2001-11-16 07:46 PM

Hi everybody, thanks for your lovely repies.

Tell you the truth Kay, Duncan mentioned something about apples and snakes in class and before I knew, the words just floated out of my pen. Even though I'm not religious myself, I know the stories.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Want to use the pics on my website? Just let me know.[URL=http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/]http://comm

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

7 posted 2001-11-16 10:04 PM

Lovely story and form!!

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

8 posted 2001-11-16 10:09 PM

Titia,
You must love a good challenge. Because this doesn't look easy. It certainly is well done!

Gramps

Sin isn't fair, but God got even, grace isn't fair either. larry c

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

9 posted 2001-11-17 12:11 PM

Dumb dutchie my #*%!! Titia---This is so impressive. Geez, I haven't even come up with a question for class yet. To write Serpentene verse so coherently is just amazing.

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

10 posted 2001-11-17 12:42 PM

Wow! I've seen this kind of line structure before, but never knew it's called a serpentine verse. And never seen a poem using such verses in such a fascinating way! Great write!!

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

11 posted 2001-11-17 01:27 PM

STANDING OVATION!!!! This is magnificent and the shape is perfect. Very well done. I love it.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

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