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Open Poetry #17
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Awakening
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Awakening |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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Devastated by failures of so many years I ran into the darkness, unseeing through tears. Branches grabbed at me, thorns ripped strips off of my hide, But the smothering anguish came from deep inside. I hardly noticed as I stumbled through the night That I was fast approaching a flickering light. Then a gray ghost appeared from the depths of the mist With back bent - features weathered and wisdom kissed. Fear and sheer terror should have liquefied my knees But a calm overcame me and I was at ease. I felt answers I needed were known by this man, Our unorthodox meeting part of some plan. With the fire hot between us, I sat and waited For whatever might happen, knowing it fated. "You stagger through the forest, confused, running blind - Thinking you seek answers you don't expect to find. Discouraging words have been the enticing bait Used to lure you into the trap of self-hate; You've drunk of their poison, eroding your soul, And without faith or hope you will never be whole. But if you are willing to surrender the fight Against yourself and trust me, I can give you sight. Embrace the forgiveness you'd bestow on another, Look forward, not back, and peace you'll recover. Make the choice to relinquish your distorted view Regain your rightful place on the path meant for you." I said nothing at first; I couldn't find a word. His declaration seemed completely absurd! But I could not continue the way things had been - Could I turn from a chance offered to start again? My ears still echoed with whimpers caused by betrayed trust But I met his gaze and said, "Do all that you must." Then I screamed in agony as he touched my eyes - I learned self-loathing struggles, writhing as it dies. "I can not see!" I sobbed, "God - What have you done?" "My child, your eyes are fine, but you've now begun To release the image that so few ever see. Become the woman you were always meant to be!" He led me to the coolness of a nearby stream, As I bathed my stained cheeks, I fell into a dream And relived scenes and moments from my memories - Before me marched times I'd faced adversities. Where I thought I had failed and shown only weakness, I now saw the strength of someone giving their best: Danger met with courage, grief handled with resolve, Chaos and turmoil battled until peace evolved. What wrought these miracles? Were my memories wrong? I thought me unworthy - but this woman was strong! From heartbreak and despair came tenuous hope I never was perfect, but I'd learned to cope. Buried, ancient abuse had not just harmed the child It had debased my mirror and stolen my smile. Those who loved me most had tried to make me see But full of undeserved guilt, I had not believed. I'm not quite sure how long I was there on my knees Until I rose, bathed in light shining through the trees To solitude - no sign of my nocturnal guide, No coals left from the fire that had burned by his side. Were the past few hours simply figments of my mind? No, my breath inhaled the peace I'd despaired to find. I know some situations will remain the same But I no longer feel I must take all the blame. I can never control nor rewrite my past, But I can stop feeding its power at long last. There are, of course, ladies much fairer of face With alluring bodies who move with more grace But I love wholeheartedly, live without pretense, Never hesitate to help, have a wealth of friends. For love unrequited, my heart still grieves and bleeds But that choice was made for me, I'm not what he needs. My arms may be empty, life and bed both lonely But I can tackle each day, believing in me. So as I leave the forest, I can not resist Whispering sincere thanks to the fragments of mist. I wrote this back in May, but wasn't satisfied with it. *G* However, attempts at reworking haven't done diddly for the rhythm - I succeeded in making it longer, but not better... so I'd better stop before it's a book! *G* |
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| © Copyright 2001 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I saved it to my fav folder before I was halfway through reading. It is incredible. No need to re-work a masterpiece. The words flow with great emotional energy. I would say more, but the words are stuck somewhere in the back of my throat right now. Literally. It is good to see your name again, suthern. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suthern, You are showing your talent. A wonderful write and read. I read even more between the lines and that is what makes it so ineresting. A pleasure to see you posting again. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Why stop before it's a book---this is so inspirational suthern...glad tidings for a sad heart tonight. I thank you! and yes, learning to cope...sigh...with HUGS |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is an unadulterated purge...plain and simple... and well worth the read... so it's a Keeper... darn, it's good to have you back! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Geesh! For a minute I thought that back-bent weathered creature meant you finally found Toerag but then, when you said wisdom kissed, I knew I was wrong  I love this one, suthern gal...expecially the message at the end. Every time I see you pop in, it reminds me how much I miss ya and how much poorer Passions is without you. Stick around, ya hear????  |
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA |
Suthern, I too added this one to my library. It IS a masterpiece. Thanks for the emotion that welled up in my soul, knowing that there is still hope, out there in the forests, waiting to be found and released from within. ^_^ LadySofia |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well this is one instance where bigger is definitely better! I loved this purging from within, and have saved to read over again, and again. It is so good to see you posting again, and I really enjoyed this, thank you. ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
a story in rhyme perhaps??? well, the rhythm is ok. . . but, I'm wondering if you should just leave it alone. . . let it breathe on its own. . . and yes, it's good to see you back. . .  --------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Such an out pouring - did you ever think t hat maybe it is exactly what you wanted...? Good to read you again my missed friend...don't stay away so long, especially not with works like this in the basket. jwesley |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is fantastic, Ruth! Glad you finally posted it! It's always great to see you! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I absolutely agree with the rest - The poem's great - and so is seeing you... Check your email, OK?..  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SuthernGal~ I've come back to read this three times already~  Stunning ...~ Your 'Awakening' is just beautifully done~ Easily a piece that will be read over an over~ *Hugs* to you sweetest friend~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Suthern...when I read this I was amazed by the depth of feeling especailly, and the impact of the change in attitude...so well done in perfect rhyme and rhythm. You are amazing..so many here know that! Big hugs for posting this piece of you. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Buried, ancient abuse had not just harmed the child It had debased my mirror and stolen my smile. ====================================== I know some situations will remain the same But I no longer feel I must take all the blame. I can never control nor rewrite my past, But I can stop feeding its power at long last. =================================== But I can tackle each day, believing in me. ==================================== There were so many spectacular lines of self discovery in this vision quest, so many that I related to personally for reasons of both you and I... that I realized I was highlighting the whole poem....then I looked for the lines that the light shined from...the ones that will light a path to healing. The chains and scars of our past are never easy to heal and break free from...they effect us on many levels and effect the way we react to situations and effect the decsions we make.....its a constant cycle ...and the healing process is never ending. We cant atone for sins that were passed on to us...and we dont deserve to carry the blame or shame fro innocence taken. Still its so much easier to say..than to live out day to day. Im so glad you decided let this ones light shine for all who will see their own reflections in it and then maybe see their own light.  OH...and by the way...I read it outloud twice...the meter is just fine. Beautiful write Poetess Ruth. jm |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Midnitesun: I was leaving work yesterday when I read your response... and your exceedingly kind words sent me home on winged feet with a smile plastered on my face. *S* Thank you so much!! (now be careful and don't choke... 'kay? *S*) Seymour: It's a pleasure to BE posting again... even on a limited basis. *S* My escape from the werk and moving monsters is a temporary but welcome respite. *S* Thank you, kind sir! serenity: I could ask no more as a writer or woman than to gladden a sad heart... so your reply touches me deeply. Thank you! Big HUGS and many hopes to you... may the learning continue and the heartache ease. Sunshine: To be kept by you is a great compliment. *S* And that last comment is a pure beam of Sunshine into my life... Thank you very much! Balladeer: You know I'd give up wisdom kisses for Toe smooches any old day! LOL. An encounter with that wonderful (unfairly maligned by a couple of scalawags *G*) beloved friend is suthern's idea of heaven. *S* Thank you, Deer One... for loving the poem and missing the poet. *S* Unfortunately, I need either a new computer at home or less work at work... or both! *S* But I'll pop in when I can... and be missing you terribly 'tween times. *S* LadySofia: When I think of masterpieces, I think of Shakespeare, Henley, Coleridge, Longfellow, Balladeer, Kit, Michael, Toe, LJA, PDV, Sunshine, Margie, Marge... the list goes on and on with nary a suthern appearance. *S* But your wonderful words humble me and make me immensely grateful... thank you! Mysteria: I had to finally say "Enough!" after 6 lines crept into an already long poem this past weekend. *G* I'm so very glad you enjoyed... thank you! Sven: The "tweaking" is over... I've sworn to leave it alone (unless, of course, I find some terrible typo! *G*) Thank you very much! jwesley: I think my problem is that I'm lazy and expect my muse to deliver finished goods and I never really know what I want... just whether I like it or not. *G* Thank you... for both the missing and the encouragement... both are greatly appreciated! *S* Denise: Thank you very much! I'm hoping things settle down in the new year so I can be here more often... I've started saving pennies to replace my dinosaur... now I've just got to quit "borrowing" from the jar. *G* Nan: You don't know how hard it's been being away... or how your email brightened my day. *S* Thank you very much! Marge: Ah, lady... your reply is one I'll read again and again... for one can never have too much love or acceptance. You give both in abundance... Thank you... from my heart. *S* Martie: The respect I have for your work is vast, dear lady... so the kind words you've left for me as both poet and person mean so much to me. I thank you! JM: Thank you very much for your insightful response. *S* And I'm glad the meter works when you read... I sure can't make it work for me! LOL. Ya think maybe it's my "suthern" accent making 3 syllables out of a 3 letter word? LOL |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes look forward Suthern...with courage...this is a wonderful example of the power that lives within poetry...James |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 CLAPPING WILDLY!!! (big hugggsssssss) Oh Suthern, my heart is with you always, for as long as you believe in yourself and purge the wilderness within your mind and crawl over the rainbow rather than anxiously find ansswers to all your questions, you will find love and happiness cuddled in your embrace forever! (sigh) Your words are phenominal, I love your voice always! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend! Believe in yourself always, and soar like the angel you are! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Suthern, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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OWG Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 155California |
full bucket scent overflowing wet under and on the edges it is all there...cool write |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
I thought me unworthy - but this woman was strong! oh yes lady, you are strong and worthy....and yes beautiful......oh...and did I say a great writer...I can't believe how you can have rhythm and rhyme and it reads as easy as free verse....wonderful poem lady....there is just one thing I don't understand.....why it is posted here with 18 replies, and it hasn't seen its way to my mailbox yet *very stern look* |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
suthern, when I grow up I want to write like this. Amazing, passionate endearing and wholly entrancing. Loved It and I'm keeping it. Btw, I miss you heaps...I always have. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
James Michael: I will certainly try! *S* Thank you very much! Mistletoe Angel: Your enthusiastic kindness coaxed a much needed smile across this face... I thank you very much! OWG: Thank you so much... I'm glad you enjoyed! *S* jellybeans: But... but... but... one of the 18 was mine... and looooonnnggg! I couldn't be here and in mail at the same time? *G* And I thought you'd already suffered through the original? (Are you buying any of this or is that look getting more stern? *G*) Thank you very much, dear friend... for your words today and everything along the way. *S* Kethry: Oh, my... you've left me speechless... and humbled... and so very filled with gratitude. *S* Thank you very much... you have truly honored me. *S* And I've missed you, too... it's so good to see you again! [This message has been edited by suthern (edited 12-06-2001).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"From heartbreak and despair came tenuous hope I never was perfect, but I'd learned to cope." "Those who loved me most had tried to make me see But full of undeserved guilt, I had not believed." "I know some situations will remain the same But I no longer feel I must take all the blame. I can never control nor rewrite my past, But I can stop feeding its power at long last." Oh Suthern! I absolutely loved this! Beautifully composed .. you've woven this tale so descriptively, what a wonderful journey of hope, inspiration, remembrance ... and forgiveness of "ourselves". This was simply and utterly wonderful my dear ... I just loved it!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Dearest Belle, Now you see what the rest of us have seen all along. There's more than one person in here who loves you for the bright, spirited, wonderful person you are. Sometimes, if I may be blunt, your self-deprecating humor has been a real drag, because I've seen in you somebody who halfway believes the self-inflicted cuts, and that hurts the most. I truly hope your poem is your epitaph for a life now gone, and a celebration for a life now born. Hugs, sweet Belle. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 12-11-2001).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Kit: Your kind words send a smile deep into my heart, dear lady... I thank you so very much! *S* LJA: Thank you, sailor... very much. *S* Now if I may be blunt, "halfway" is a major understatement. *S* But even the oldest dog can learn a few new tricks... especially if the alternative is a trip to the pound. *G* I hope the lessons learned hardest are those most enduring... and thank all the friends who didn't leave me to stumble alone. *S* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now and then I take a moment to go back over those poems that found reason to become a treasure...I think this line says it all... quote: See? |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
STANDING OVATION!!! I AM LEFT SPEECHLESS. **hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Sunshine: You sweetheart! *S* You're definitely counted among that wealth. *S* Thank you! Startime: Thank you so very much! *S* You leave me smiling broadly... basking in the glow of sun and stars. *S* HUGS back to you! *S* |
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