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desperado
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

0 posted 2001-10-06 04:36 AM

it's a cold texas night in a similar town
trapped in a world with no up and no down
with nothing to comfort me but a blackhawk cd
and a rugged chillblowing right at me
a flickering bic to keep the darkness at bay
with a silence that only words could say
cause the lights are off and last calls on
the bars are all closed till well after dawn
and the ice on my heart grows colder
as the words in my soul grow bolder
matched only by reality and time
made mystical with magic by rhyme
as the world around me twists and turns
slightly unyielding as the fire still burns
swaying and breaking with the autumn air
plunged into places that you're unaware
far from feeling yourself or me
your far from seeing who you'd like to be
and I'm trapped in the maze you snared me in
trapped in the cage you lured me in
and it's falling to the bottom of the sea
the bottom of the bottom of what you mean to me
going nowhere fast and I'm out of breath
stuck in a place where liberty means death
I'm far from feeling you or me
far from knowing who to be
with no exits no books no rules to follow
it's taking a pill that I can't swallow
as you use me and smile with innocent eyes
it's a match in hell, a perfect disguise
cause I'm breaking once more inside my dreams
from one to another all darkness it seems
as I'm far from feeling the life I use
far from knowing what choice to choose
so there's nowhere to go but down out here
no final dreams and nothing but fear
as I push away the scattered mess
of the world that I notice less
descend into the rabbit hole once more
by climbing in my grave on the third floor
and never forget to close your eyes
cause when you live, reality dies

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2001-10-06 05:20 AM

this is a very intimate rendering.....I love the closing lines! Every now and then, I read something and I feel "present" in the author's brain--this was one of those times.

There was nothing left to add but the desolation of having to go home again alone.

I suppose that's better left unsaid. (oops)

Enjoyed, m'friend.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

2 posted 2001-10-06 08:01 AM

Big ole hugs to ya, m'friend... You do have a way of looking at life from a desperado perspective... Keep smiling - All will be well..

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2001-10-06 09:48 AM

Like the way you wrote this Desperado...James

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2001-10-06 10:15 AM

"cause when you live, reality dies. . . "

I'm still wondering about these last lines. . . there's kind of a hope there, but. . .

very intimate from you. . . well done. . .

------------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2001-10-06 11:02 AM

This is good, desperado, straight from the feeling to the page.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

6 posted 2001-10-06 11:27 AM

the BEST work from you!!! you get better and better.... THIS is POETRY!!!!!!!!!

poetry at its finest.....

*doreen rises from her seat to applaud*

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