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Open Poetry #16
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Lock the gate when you leave
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Lock the gate when you leave |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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Against better judgment and all the voices arguing on the side of no, I walked straight out to the gate and unbolted the latch. Its been five years since footsteps have tread on the side of in, but even with piles of debris intentionally blocking the way you stepped easily. You toured the facilities, for free. You never intended to sign the lease. I am no longer in the mood for entertainin company, so would you please, at least be kind enough to lock the gate when you leave? |
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| © Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
Hi jellybeans. I really like the metaphor you have going here. Im not a poet... but if you dont' mind my opinion, I think I'll share. I think that if you separated it after the word "easily" into three stanzas, you'd have a very powerful poem. Thats just how I read it...otherwise I really think it works. Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JellyBeans~ Gal .. this is JUST WONDERFUL~ I like the easy-conversational packaging~ You write so well ... it is a pleasurable read~ I thank you for sharing~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Yeowch! "You toured the facilities, for free. You never intended to sign the lease." ... and the ending summed up your feelings perfectly. Hope someday, somebody signs the papers. Thanks for sharing. Peace! |
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