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Open Poetry #16
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A Day at the Beach
| Open Poetry #16 |
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A Day at the Beach |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers 
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The sun shines brightly in the sky The vast ocean shimmering Like a million stars in the night The waves rolling on to the shore Drowning the soft pattering Tiny footprints Lovers playing in the water Splashing around Children building castles In the sand Walking along the beach Sand as white as the foams in the waves Looking out at the gulls above the sea Where heaven and earth meets you can't tell Coz each is as blue as the other Out into the water I venture again Walking against the undercurrents of the waves To my waist the water reaches I tremble in fear as the surf approaches A gentle tug on my hand A small frighten step ahead As the water rises above my head My screams drowned out by the thundering wave Footing lost and salty water Rushes into my mouth and ears - all over Hitting the sand and grabbing legs Trying to get myself out of the water Powerful hands and strong arms caught Holding my elbows and pulling me up Shuddering with fear and shivering cold Hugging the body to which I hold Comforting voice and gentle laughter Calmly I stood - all the more braver Waiting for the next wave to hit Locking my knees hard when it did This time I didn't fall over Smiling broadly I took a step further It seems I've overcome my fear Though I'm still a non-swimmer Back we strode on to the beach Friends building castles everywhere Japanese temple and English castles Next to which is an out-of-place turtle The day ended as we left our beach With this monuments we couldn't take Abandoned castles and sandy animals Tell the story of some friends gathering |
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| © Copyright 2001 Mon Cherie - All Rights Reserved | |||
RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
you've described my day at the beach too! I dont like to go too far out in the water either..and I hate seaweed lol. : ) nice write, especially the ending. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You are bravely entering the waves and the outside world. I really like these lines: 'Calmly I stood - all the more braver Waiting for the next wave to hit Locking my knees hard when it did' and 'Abandoned castles and sandy animals Tell the story of some friends gathering' |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i liked this much much better...i liked the last two lines as well, as Midnitesun has pointed out...  |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
RosePetal: Seaweed eh.... heheh... The beaches in Brisbane, Australia seem pretty clean to me, though I've seen many jellyfish washed ashore. Ouch! Don't want to be stung during my holiday. :PMidnitesun & faterider: Thanks for the compliments! Like faterider, who'd seen my earlier version of this poem, pointed out, this seems much better. And personally, I do prefer this. I guess I'll also never forget that wonderous day at the beach... Oh... faterider..... you might be interested to know that there were quite a number of topless babes in bikini bottoms at that particular beach.  |
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