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Open Poetry #16

Always the Lady

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

0 posted 2001-11-02 05:08 PM

Always the Lady

Called her his Lady
Kept the light of her so white
Feared he yet her fall

To be Lady still
See the light dance in his eyes
Only dimness there

Wicked thoughts prevailed
She remained Lady, alone
Could not rid his black

One by one Lady
Stepped from stone to stone and gone
Setting sail one night

Candlelight alone
Dimming Lady’s memory
He alone fell hard

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

1 posted 2001-11-02 05:34 PM

*sigh* tears quickly fell from my eyes as I saw the sadness of his fall. A poem that tears at the heartstrings. How do you keep doing this. Magnificent writing. Emotionally powerful.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

2 posted 2001-11-02 05:44 PM

I hate to say it, but if he doesn't know a good lady when he sees one, well, it serves him right. (just saying it like it is)

Very pretty images, I can almost see her stepping over the stones.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2001-11-02 05:52 PM

See there is the difference between that lady and this lady...I would have picked up one of those rocks and he would have fallen harder than he did!

Oh, this one sure liked me!

~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

4 posted 2001-11-02 06:04 PM

Stepping from stone to stone can be precarious and slippery at times - but tread cautiously, they can surely help us to forge treacherous rapids...Well said, Lady...

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

5 posted 2001-11-02 07:55 PM

quote:
Candlelight alone
Dimming Lady’s memory
He alone fell hard

now THAT is poetry!!!!!!!! fabulous!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

6 posted 2001-11-02 08:31 PM

I think you have the right approach here. Love the conclusion, and the poem is perfect.
Sandra

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