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Open Poetry #16
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Cpat Hair
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0 posted 2001-10-23 09:14 AM


The leaves fell
and left on ground once green
a muted Oriental of color

I knew it would not last
for no warp or weave
no knotted ties
held together this rug

Still...
I marveled on it then
committing to memory the hues
the patterns changed by wind
the feelings of an end

It rained today
And I remembered you.


© Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-10-23 09:17 AM



So appropos for the season, so clear in its colors, the metaphor and imagery is beautiful...

I'm just waiting for the wind to snap the carpet of color...

it does that, in Kansas, you know...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-10-23 09:18 AM


I wanna go hiking with YOU....

sounds like my kinda campground...and hey, thanks!  

This is gorgeous...written with a slow realization of beauty. Nice, nice stuff here...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-10-23 09:57 AM


Still...
I marveled on it then
committing to memory the hues
the patterns changed by wind
the feelings of an end

It rained today
And I remembered you.
=============================


you always write what Im feeling ...
and do so with succinctity (something my muse knows nothing of) *S*
and with superb imagery,elemental and ethereal comparison, metaphor and poetic impact.
well done poet sir...once again.
jm

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
4 posted 2001-10-23 10:01 AM


The beauty of fall fills the vision of this poem bringing also the tears of loss that came with the rain. Magnificent writing.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2001-10-23 10:02 AM


Cpat Hair,
I'm afraid JM said it all. Enjoyed

Abigaile
Member
since 2001-10-21
Posts 112
San Mateo, CA
6 posted 2001-10-23 10:54 AM


Truly beautiful - the rain always reminds us of someone special. I really love the way you captured this.

"I am nae poet, in a sense;
But just a rhymer like by chance..."
-Robert Burns

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
7 posted 2001-10-23 10:58 AM


what a lovely phrase to use to describe the rain....thank you!

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
8 posted 2001-10-23 12:08 PM


'Tis an ever changing tapestry, isn't it? I like this verbal portrait, Cpat..
cpalmer
Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977
Phoenix, Az
9 posted 2001-10-23 12:21 PM


Hey Cpat!
Can you send some of that this way? It's a beautiful picture, just wish I could see it for myself! Fall doesn't happen in this part of AZ!   Beautifully done, for a moment there I thought I was experiencing it for real!  Thanks
Cindi

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2001-10-23 02:05 PM


I liked the unique imagery here, the leaves, the faded rug, the rain releasing memories.
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

11 posted 2001-10-23 02:29 PM


I marveled on it then
committing to memory the hues
the patterns changed by wind
the feelings of an end

Seems autumn lends itself well to remembering.  This verse especially reminds me of a time when I willed myself to remember a certain touch, smell, emotion...knowing the moment wouldn't last but that I must remember it.  Good one, Ron.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2001-10-23 02:48 PM


Capt--Touched with the inevitable of change and the memory of love...very poignant!
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2001-10-23 03:40 PM


CPatHair~

'The leaves fell
and left on ground once green
a muted Oriental of color'


What a vison fell before me in reading this~
*applause*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com              

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
14 posted 2001-10-23 04:19 PM




It rained today
And I remembered you.

----------------------------

Yeah.....It rained .....

Such a beautiful piece....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
15 posted 2001-10-23 04:32 PM


the colors are always so nice to see.  You
painted a beautiful picture...Thank you.

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale
16 posted 2001-10-23 04:50 PM


I enjoyed this very much...

Poetic verse nestled in the warmth of my heart, reveals the sweet yearnings of my soul....

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
17 posted 2001-10-23 05:02 PM


Very beautiful write
Thankyou
Liz

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
18 posted 2001-10-24 06:54 PM


You...are a season...in your verse...I can't explain how well you touch on those tapestries...with such magic. You "leave" me bewildered.  

Sincerely,
Regina

catalinamoon
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since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
19 posted 2001-10-24 07:01 PM


Yes, this is a beauty. Love it.
Sandra

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
20 posted 2001-10-24 07:21 PM


'It rained today
And I remembered you'

This is a most beautiful write, Ron...these words just say it all...excellently written!

sp  

And did you know with the rain in your pockets,
you can change the weather...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

21 posted 2001-10-24 07:37 PM


It rained today
And I remembered you.


Absolutely lovely!

Maree  


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

22 posted 2001-10-24 08:55 PM


Everything JM said above, and adding,
just simply beautiful and wonderous work
Cpat.  Much enjoyed this!!

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
23 posted 2001-10-24 09:58 PM


Wonderful write.

It rained today
And I remembered you.

That ending is lovely. Haunting, but so are the memories (oops, talking about myself now!!) Gorgeous poem

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
24 posted 2001-10-25 11:54 AM


Beautiful imagery... beautiful poem. *S*
Abigaile
Member
since 2001-10-21
Posts 112
San Mateo, CA
25 posted 2001-10-25 11:56 AM


Definitely beautiful. *SMILE*

"I am nae poet, in a sense;
But just a rhymer like by chance..."
-Robert Burns

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

26 posted 2001-10-25 02:29 PM


ok I could have sworn to find my name on this poem, but I didn't, so maybe I dreamed a reply...or wished one, have been too busy lately for my own good...this is wonderful...course have never read anything by you that isn't  
Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
27 posted 2001-10-25 08:16 PM


Very beautiful.......
~Connie~

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
28 posted 2001-10-25 10:43 PM


It rained today
And I remembered you"


OH WOW...this is one of the best poems I have read, thank you so much for sharing, as it touched so many  emotions inside....


Greeneyes~


****

I keep my ideals,
because in spite of everything,
I still believe that
people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank
09*12*01


Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
29 posted 2001-10-26 02:33 AM


Ron,
For desert dwellers Fallen Tapestry imagery is critical to our mental health. You make faint memories bright with talent like this! Thanks.  

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
30 posted 2001-10-26 08:14 AM


Wonderful writings like these leave me in awe... and joy...

Thanks, my friend...

Regards,
Sudhir

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
31 posted 2001-10-26 12:29 PM



Cat Hair~  There's an aura around this piece, as with many of yours, that just leaves me feeling in awe.  I love the travel of your thoughts that takes such simple moments and turns them into the profound.  Yes, I like this one a lot  

Hugs,
~Krista
P.S. I can now never look at your name without seeing 'Cat Hair'  

Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself.  
Thank you for having the courage to share yourself so that I can too


[This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 10-26-2001).]

Interloper
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since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
32 posted 2001-10-26 12:31 PM


Gee Ron, it only took me a while to get to this beauty.  What am I, the 4296th comment?

Well, buried as I am, know that I miss reading you when I'm gone or you don't post.

Well done my friend

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

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