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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2001-10-23 02:58 AM

How can I
take mere words
attempt to string
some poetry
and hope for
originality--
and draw
for everyone to see
portrait
of what you do to me?

(I know, I KNOW)
the meter's off,
but that's the story
of my life...
it's like the worn out song
of tune...
the man of your dreams--
and his beautiful wife...

But all is fine.
It's better than
the way it was before...
Now I know for sure
my love,
that certainly, there's something more.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-10-23 07:50 AM

*sigh*(reflected)
(YKTIKTYK...IK)
(YAYAYAYA)
(hearthugs)
mothy me

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-10-23 08:00 AM

The mere knowledge there is something more is enough at times to comfort...

nicely done my friend...

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member

since 2001-10-03

Posts 818
USA

3 posted 2001-10-23 10:09 AM

what a message....

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2001-10-23 10:14 AM

Serenity,
Surely there is something more. *L*

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

5 posted 2001-10-23 10:35 AM

There is much more to poetry than meter. You have a way of expressing yourselve that is uniquely you showing a talent that is wonderful to read. I too believe there is more to come. BRAVO!!!Another great poem.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 2001-10-23 05:00 PM

Yes indeed, there is something more!
Great write as always Gorgeous!

Maree

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 10-23-2001).]

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

7 posted 2001-10-23 06:27 PM

love the song reference here. . .

for me, it's never been about the meter. . . it's always been about the structure. . .

wonderfully done my friend. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

8 posted 2001-10-23 08:30 PM

you know sometimes i've heard them say,
they're either married or they're gay!
well, you know what? they say that's life!
some have a wife and some, a "wife"!

but i say who the heck are THEY?
they always try to ruin my day!
i don't believe them! i refuse
'cause if i do, i'll surely lose!

i'm positive they also tell
the good sweet single men, "oh well!
she's either married or she's gay,
you might as well give up today!"

so here we are just missing each!
(some lesson here, i try to teach
and if i find out what it is,
he'll soon be mine, and i'll be his!)

*wink*

-------------------------------------
loved your pome, harpo... thanks for letting me tag on to it!

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

9 posted 2001-10-23 08:36 PM

(smiles) There is something more indeed, and I just know your beautiful heart will find this love! (big hugggssssss) Your words always touch the heart and sing with spirit and rhyme! Wonderful, dearest Karen! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

10 posted 2001-10-23 09:49 PM

Ah, I feel this too well. Poem of magic, and saying much.
Sandra

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2001-10-23 10:12 PM

smiles and thanks, and okay, this one translated fairly personal...so I guess there's no denying it....but hey, it's okay.
I've got ways of getting over these things...

Love you all!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

12 posted 2001-10-23 10:48 PM

The emotion's spilling out of this one. I can feel it. And I love Doreens response too!

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

The Rusty Knight
Member

since 2001-08-29

Posts 414
Texas

13 posted 2001-10-23 10:55 PM

Good love, bad love or no love poets have to write about it and you say it so well.

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

14 posted 2001-10-24 01:19 AM

My best to you, sweet Karen. (((hugs)))

Michael

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

15 posted 2001-10-24 01:22 AM

serenity,
The meters off? Or is it running? Nice touch!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

16 posted 2001-10-24 05:47 PM

I am running behind, and don't intend to be so ungrateful...my apologies good poet people. Thanks for reading and hugs to all. Forgive my rudeness---sometimes I forget what I write!!!!!

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