Open Poetry #16 |
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Each Day |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla ![]() |
Rewrite: Each day She charms me like the morning's dew With new born sunlight passing thru. Like tender odors, of the dawn From scented flowers still unborn. Delights me with downy gay Like bobbing butterflies at play. She chitchats like the birds that sing Their new born wakefulness of spring. And steeps her humor just like tea Serving cups so guiltlessly. With plumb uniqueness of a child And wisdom of the undefiled. She banquets me. A shameless spread. Her lavishment just fills the sled With gifts of love for all my needs I am in awe, her common deeds. A beardless saint my misses Claus And I a child of wild applause. |
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© Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"And steeps her humor just like tea Serving cups so guiltlessly. With plumb uniqueness of a child And wisdom of the undefiled." Oh my, oh wow! This is absolutely delightful Sy! Flawless in cadence and rhyme and so beautifully unique in phrasing ... just wonderful! ![]() Best wishes, /Kit |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kit, Thank you for the early read. And thank you for the kind words. *L* |
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jonmcm Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 222England |
What a wonderful description of your love. Cheers ![]() Jon |
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Lady In White![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Aren't we all applauding you, for this...a rewrite, you say? I would have it no other way... |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
This is good. I like it. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Jonmcm, Thank you Jon. Lady, And I too. Thank you and *L* |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
SmartChick, Thank you for the like. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She charms me like the morning's dew With new born sunlight passing thru. ==================== Delights me with downy gay Like bobbing butterflies at play. ==================== And steeps her humor just like tea Serving cups so guiltlessly. With plumb uniqueness of a child And wisdom of the undefiled. She banquets me. A shameless spread. Her lavishment just fills the sled With gifts of love for all my needs I am in awe, her common deeds. ==================================== (OHHOWILOVEWHENYOU-RE-WRITELIKETHIS) ![]() Each day ... you set thy turn of phrase in play Poetry in motion ... wisdom reflected in the words thou say Lifes lessons spun gold ... wrapped in humanities rhymes A prophets vision ... whispered thru Edens chimes So we come each day ... to witness thy light And we leave wiser ... wrapped in sheer SY delight *winkiewinkie* ![]() This distance has shown how the road remains alone Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own. [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 10-22-2001).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, You delight me in every tone especialy the twilight zone. Winkiewinkie Love Stinky |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Fantastic! A beautiful, peaceful and loving poem. Love it! Maree ![]() |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy--you bring delight into the day so many times...like now. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Maree, Thank you for the beautiful comment. Martie, If I do that than I am happy. *L* |
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The Lady of Shallot Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818USA |
rewriting a poem is like wrapping it up again and again and it becomes so cherished....doesn't it? I enjoyed this very much. -befriend yourself and you will never be alone- |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Seymour- Love it, love it, love it! Just wonderful! ![]() Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Lady, It does, doesn't it. Thank you *L* Valraynis, Thank you, thank you, thank you. *L* |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* rewrite or not this poem is incredibly beautiful. It flows with such perfection that I am left in awe of its writer. BRAVO!!!A masterpiece. ![]() Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Startime, My very humble thanks. *L* |
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Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
Got me! I never saw the original and I didn't know where you were going until you chose to tell. Kept me guessing.. thank you! Kevin |
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