»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #16
»
Baggage and Beginnings
| Open Poetry #16 |
|
Baggage and Beginnings |
|
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Wanting to animate for you the poet in me as walking from the page but seems the best I can manage in real time is casual conversation not even particularly clever hope you’ll indulge me a bit of clumsiness here in this beginning it’s not well lit here and I keep tripping over baggage. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Duncan, I like this! Good job. |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Oh, but you trip with such grace, you don't fall on your face. And even if you do, it might be good for you. At least you know where to land. |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Duncan, I really like this poem! Well done.  |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"it’s not well lit here and I keep tripping over baggage." Excellent metaphor Duncan! Beautifully composed, very much enjoyed your thoughts in this piece! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
you know? my first meet was like that... I don't believe I even raised my eyes to notice the color of those across from me... Remembering fondly, Maureen "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
||
|
Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Beginnings always clumsiness It needn't worry you too much For others have their clumsy ways Talkin about cars for days And yes, it's dim within these halls With baggage lined up on both walls And if you trip she'll help you up I'm sure for her you'll do as much You have started my day off with a big smile. I can't think of anything I'd rather have with my morning coffee than your words. Suddenly, I don't mind Mondays so much!!! If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? [This message has been edited by Tracey (edited 10-22-2001).] |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
nothing like a new relationship to make us stumble around a bit. Nice to know men have this problem too. Sandra |
||
|
walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
I never made a poem in realtime to anyone but I can only imagine how odd I would sound. It's really romantic to do that with baggage and all. It's the thought that counts. Great thoughts here Duncan. [This message has been edited by walker (edited 10-22-2001).] |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Wanting to animate for you the poet in me ============================= seems the best I can manage in real time is casual conversation not even particularly clever ================================ it’s not well lit here and I keep tripping over baggage. =============================== very clever write Duncan...showcasing your gift for succinctity with impact. funny how "we poets" can be so graceful with pen and be stuttering fools when we have to speak the part "live". Well done poet sir..the impact of you last verse it pure poetry. This distance has shown how the road remains alone |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
you're a master with a metaphor, duncan. We all have that baggage, don't we.....and funny how it always seems to get in our way! Great write..... |
||
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Even the elegant Orient Express chugging along with it's many baggage cars must pass through the occasional dark tunnel. Most of your journey sees the light. |
||
|
SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
I like this. Very good! |
||
|
A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
Wanting to animate for you the poet in me as walking from the page Duncan, you do tend to sweep a lady off her feet.....long deep sigh Poetic verse nestled in the warmth of my heart, reveals the sweet yearnings of my soul.... |
||
|
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Trip away.....we all have baggage to carry but that is just a part of life. You have put this so well that the romance of it comes across very clearly. I love it. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan: Great use of metaphor..very much enjoyed this poem! You know, it's the honesty that gives it so much charm. |
||
|
The Lady of Shallot Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818USA |
I really like this, this metaphor is so original...some of us need to lose that baggage don't we? -befriend yourself and you will never be alone- |
||
|
Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Loved this, Duncan, excellent! ~Tier |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan, Clever metaphor, a good write. |
||
|
Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Ah....do get rid of that baggage, Sir! |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Loved this Duncan...anyone want to carry some of my baggage for me? ~Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Duncan- Excellent metaphor, my friend. Very nicely done. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Duncan, Some of us have more baggage than others. Good write. Dawn |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
