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Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

0 posted 2001-07-24 01:46 PM

images

it was the chiseling sound
of me
scraping myself
off the floor
that brought your attention
to the fact
that you had to
hold up the mirror
to face me

and as you saw
through it,
to me, for all that had been
said and done
I knew it was your
image on
the other side
and smiled

unlike Alice I could
not peer through
nor did I know
my own
reflection, I had changed

that much

and even though I still
carried floor burns
on me
I smiled at who I
saw
liking this image very much

for that image is who
I would become

so thanks for holding up
the mirror once more

I promise not to hit the
floor again
unless it’s my own slip
next time

[This message has been edited by Decaflame (edited 07-24-2001).]

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-24 01:48 PM

Nit picking... in last verse you use again twice...and not sure you need them both

( smiling)

Now..
good read and images... one I enjoyed

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

2 posted 2001-07-24 01:53 PM

Ok, ok....fixed....

{big grins}

thanks!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2001-07-24 01:59 PM

Decaflame-
   No nit-picking here..
   This is an awesome write!
   Very well done..

   hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

4 posted 2001-07-24 02:19 PM

I like this alot, but am terribly curious as to why you ended up on the floor with floor burns.

I so want to know that your 'slip' didn't cause the person to whom you're speaking to help you find your way to the floor.

shadow974
Senior Member

since 2001-06-21

Posts 636
Michigan

5 posted 2001-07-24 03:08 PM

Liked very much and I'm glad you liked the reflection in the mirror.

Do not fear going forward slowly,
Fear only standing still.

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