Relevance of Irreverence Severance

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RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

0 posted 2001-07-20 08:31 AM

The umbilical chord
Long gone,
Yet has a ghost pain,
As an itchy knee
To a legless man.

It leaves a yawning,
Yearning outlet,
Begging to be
Re-attached.....
To you.

Once cut it
Casts us headlong
And alone.
But unlike
A doomed astronaut
Hurled breathless
To a dark forever,
We are pained
Repeatedly
By our proximity
To warm others
In the light.

Like bumpcars,
Or poolballs,
Or worse,
Black widows
Or bettas,
We need each other,
While we bleed each other.

This loneliness
Is maddening.
So too
This Love.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-20 08:47 AM

nicely done RS... like the form and the flow of this along with the imagery

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2001-07-20 09:01 AM

Wonderful write. You put the feelings of lost love where the love is not really lost, just the companionship. GR8!

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

3 posted 2001-07-20 02:38 PM

I'm left with the feeling you describe, after reading this poem -- almost an intangible, ethereal thing -- not in terms of love lost, but the impressions gained from the read... and that's a good thing, for your poem leaves a strong residue to be considered.

-MVS

"When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said."
--Del Casher

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

4 posted 2001-07-20 06:27 PM

you summed it up in a nutshell..maddening is right Richard..i hope you received my guestbook thank you..

~Victoria~

Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

Pablo Picasso

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

5 posted 2001-09-04 03:28 PM

Mark has identified this correctly...ethereal in its corporeal...

well done Sir....

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

6 posted 2001-09-04 06:23 PM

Yes....I know.

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

7 posted 2001-09-04 09:41 PM

Another moving write. Very well done. I enjoyed it very much

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

8 posted 2001-09-05 12:46 PM

I felt the pain in this writing through the wisdom of these two lines:
            We need each other,
        While we bleed each other.
However, your writing was so well done, I almost concentrated more on the poem than its content, and that is what poetry is, and you sure know how to write it.  Well done Richard.

*~If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all*~
~* My Gramma, Mom and me *~

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

9 posted 2001-09-05 08:19 PM

You express yourself so well! I love to read how (We sarcastic minds) think. It adds flavor to the fish bowl don't ya think. I enjoyed this so much, but have to tell ya, wish you could bump into something soft and warm and stick like velcro!

Sincerely,
Regina

poetsguild
Member

since 2001-08-12

Posts 85
Florida

10 posted 2001-09-05 08:40 PM

Yeah, you caught the feeling just right. Opened up a few old wounds just reading it.

Good work, RSW

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

11 posted 2001-09-06 01:11 AM

You have a very cool way of using words in ways most would never think of.

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