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Open Poetry #15

A little of me (senryu)?

Amature2
Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 416

0 posted 2001-09-07 11:38 AM

                         A little of me
                My heart, loyalty, respect
                     All from me to you

[This message has been edited by Amature2 (edited 09-07-2001).]

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

1 posted 2001-09-07 12:36 PM

That's a very good senryu you wrote there.

But one hint: place them in the center, they will look nicer even, like this:

A little of me
My heart, loyalty, respect
All from me to you

Keep them coming Amature2

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

2 posted 2001-09-07 12:37 PM

Why not take all of me all of meeeeee

nice one indeed

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

3 posted 2001-09-07 12:44 PM

understated yet powerful...good stuff

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-09-07 12:57 PM

very nice

I like this

"Deputy Moderator ~ Open Forum"

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

5 posted 2001-09-08 10:01 AM

Wow! To think that those major attributes, wonderful attributes would be only a 'little of' you. What a wonderful gift to give that special person in your life.

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