response to LJA's "sick of romantic stuff"

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Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2001-09-06 09:20 PM

Poor LongJohn! I can understand why you have had enough
Of poetry of loving hearts and that romantic stuff.
Must make you feel inadequate and weak, without a doubt
To read poems of those things that you don't know a thing about!

A cur would never want to read about some pedigrees.
He'd be too busy trying to get rid of all his fleas!
No peasant wants to read about the joys of royalty
When cowpies, flies and horse dung's all he has a chance to see.

Your joy is in your pick-up truck and guzzling lukewarm beer
And foreplay's just a big word for a hard slap on the rear...
Although you follow girls around like some small, loving pup
If truth be known, the only thing you ever screwed was.....up.

So I apologize, my friend, for your defensive stance
By having you confronted by such strange things like romance.
Let's get together, pass some gas, and have a beer or two..
Life's way too short to irritate a good ole boy like you!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

1 posted 2001-09-06 09:34 PM

Now Baladeer I think that you have just bout summed it up
Cause LJ only thinks about that damned infernal truck
But there's just one thing that I cannot bear to hear
Surely LJ, he don't really drink that lukewarm beer

Great comeback Bal. ROFLMAO.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

2 posted 2001-09-06 09:35 PM

Hysterical! *vicious grins*

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2001-09-06 09:46 PM

Balladeer and LJA had just better slow it down a bit....laughing so hard the mascara is running down my cheeks!! Funny stuff!

~Time has cast a spell on you
so you won't ever forget me~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2001-09-06 09:52 PM

OK LJA here is your chance to write your pedigree. Show him all those medals you wear as filigree.

pandora
Member

since 1999-07-26

Posts 184

5 posted 2001-09-06 10:10 PM

sweet balladeer, you know it's true
that longjohn's got his sights on you,
he points his words just like a gun
and acts like he's already won!

but though this is a board, my 'deer,
you are not game! the field is clear!
perhaps longjohn just needs to vent!
who knows his true and real intent......

the sailor's got his trousers on
but once he had me on the lawn
and started kicking me so hard
i tried to hire the armor gaurd!

but they did not show up in time
so i resorted to some rhyme
and quickly pulled his longjohns off!
i mewed and scratched and purred and scoffed!

i slithered, slinked and got that tar!
that sailor could not sail too far!
so i have known his feeble try
to stick this kitty...... in the eye!

your answered verse is oh so FINE!!
next time that pirate, he'll be MINE!!!

beware pandora's box...

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

6 posted 2001-09-06 10:19 PM

This is good. Really enjoyed it.
alan

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

7 posted 2001-09-06 10:25 PM

I think I came to the party late, this just sounds mean

although there are some funny lines in it if it weren't directed at a real person...he is real, isn't he?

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

8 posted 2001-09-06 10:29 PM

LMAO! These poems are such wonderful fun to read...and no one does it better than you do!

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Miss Behavin'
Member

since 1999-06-16

Posts 84

9 posted 2001-09-06 11:02 PM

I heard that LongJohn has returned
But has this rumor been confirmed?
Pandora says that he was found
Out kicking her about the grounds.

He's through romancing Justine Uff
He'd rather me, for I chew snuff!!
If bombshell's what he's looking for
He'll never have to ask for more..

And surely he will not complain
When I arrive upon a train
He'll think that he's got all the luck
I've also got a pickup truck..

But somehow I must doubt his word
Too much romance? Now that's absurd!
Of course I'll ask fair Lorelei
If he's romantic or he lies.

For LongJohn's known historically
To venture in hyperbole...

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

10 posted 2001-09-06 11:15 PM

Oh my goodness, I had a feeling I'd get a giggle from the humour in this come-back2LngJhn poem you've written...

*~coco~*

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

11 posted 2001-09-06 11:33 PM

Tracey...yep, I hear he does! Thanks for ROFLing

Masked Intruder..a vicious grin is always appreciated!

Enchantress....now THAT'S a sight I'd love to see!

Thank you!

Sy...his pedigree is as yet unclassified....science is working on it

Pandora...Curse that LongJohn! Not even Pandora's box is safe!

What's this world coming to?????

Alan...I thank you, sir. That's the best I can hope for...appreciate it!

VAS....(1) Yes, you did.
(2) No, he's not.

Gentle Spirit...it's a lot of fun for me, too, sparring with someone as talented as LongJohn (don't tell him I said that!)

Miss Behavin'..I'll ask Lorelei for ya. She'll be over later

coco....smiles and giggles...thank you, my friend, for such a compliment

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

12 posted 2001-09-07 09:59 AM

Thanks, Balladeer, I feel better that he's not a real person, so who's writing with that pseudonym, you? It's probably a secret...a way to banter w/o really arguing, eh? I'm not saying this like I'd like, it must be too early or I need breakfast.

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

13 posted 2001-09-07 10:35 AM

When it's time to pull a leg, or two or more
LJA then Toe then 'Deer show up at the door
come to jeer and roast and shout
telling the rest what's up and about
giving way to their fanciful desires
all lined up to start some fires

now we ladies just sit back
[take a hint, they're all just hacks!]
to watch the preen and strut and bray
of these brave fellows as they say

"Where's Long John? Toe? and Balladeer?
For all the ladies are right here
to watch us in our form supreme
for we are mighty well built beings!"

but then! Who walks in the door?
Wizard Ron, who quits the roar
of Sailor, Toe, and Balladeer
with Wizard's Grin says for all to hear,
"You're all such fine Gentlemen,
what's with the posturing, speechifying talk?
When all one needs do is walk the walk
and lead the way to Passions' door...
follow me, I'll show you tricks, and more!"

Impressed, amazed, and even humbled
to the doorway the men all stumbled
as Ron showed them out, one by one
then quick shut the door,
to the Ladies turned and said,
"Now, we shall all have our fun!"

[This message has been edited by Lady In White (edited 09-07-2001).]

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

14 posted 2001-09-07 11:37 AM

grrr - that's all I can say, right now - grrr - I have never been so maligned. Fortunately, lil sweet Pandora came to my defense (I think she did, but I may be wrong). As for the rest of you naughty naughty people, are you going to allow this bad boy to sling arrows at me? Where's the moderator? What? He IS the Moderator? erk - a response is necessary, I can see. Lemme take some time afk to compose myself.

'Deer - ROFL@Lorelei seeing you soon. Did you know she is in Orlando today? Thanks for the poem, my friend. I noticed VAS appears concerned about our banner. Heh - looks like some ripe pickings here, doesn't it? lol

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

15 posted 2001-09-07 11:39 AM

rofg@the both of you........gosh thank you so much for the smiles.....sure needed them today

Ain' Miss Behavin'
Junior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 25

16 posted 2001-09-07 12:24 PM

They're not the same - Take it from me
For I've met two - They're clearly three!
Each one is a distinctive sort
Who castigates the rest for sport.

Big roaches all fear Balladeer...
They run for cover when he's near.

And LngJnAg's sooo lover-ly,
With Lorelie is where he'll be.

Then Toerag travels far and wide,
Buzzing 'bout the countryside.

There'll be no Miss Behavin' here
For LongJohn, Toe, or Balladeer...

For if they can't be gentlemen,
The wrath of Nan shall rise again.

She'll bring her big eraser out
Expunging each if they're a lout.
She'll whip each one of them in shape..

And nary one shall e'er escape.

It's time the ladies have their way,
So watch out guys, we've much to say.
No longer to be taciturn,
It's time for us to take our turn...

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

17 posted 2001-09-07 12:28 PM

i really adored this line

the only way you ever screwed was....up

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

18 posted 2001-09-07 12:56 PM

WOW oh WOW playground is open

I just love to read your poems Balladeer.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

19 posted 2001-09-07 02:58 PM

*lol*....Thank you defender of romantic stuff.....as I am one of these Romantic Souls too....

Charisma

Carolina
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 224
Myrtle Beach, SC

20 posted 2001-09-07 03:23 PM

Hmmmmmm *perk'n at the "Lorelei is in Orlando" line* ;O

Live today as if it's your last. Love today as if it's your first. Lisa

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

21 posted 2001-09-07 08:27 PM

VAS....enjoy your breakfast

Lady...Oh, please!! Sucking up to Wizard Ron, are we? Hah! We taught him everything he knows!

Nice try, though

LongJohn...Aha! The light flickers! Lorelei is away...the sailor will play

I'm gonna tell her. What hotel did you say she was staying in?

Nah, VAS is ok. At least she came to your defense....poor, misguided girl. I'll set her straight...

jellybeans...that's what we shoot for. Gald it was timely!

Nan...oh no! The eraser speaks!

We're bein' good...honest!

psst!! LongJohn! Be on your best behavior (for a few minutes

)

faterider..thanks. Me, too...and it fits LongJohn so well...

Titia...thank you, sweet lady! With supporters like you, we will squash that sailor like a bug!

Charisma...romance oozes from every beautiful pore in your body. I will ALWAYS defend you!

Carolina...Don't let him fool ya...he's used that line before. She's probably out getting him beers...

I took the road less traveled..now where the hell AM I???

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

22 posted 2001-09-07 11:18 PM

truth be known, the only thing you ever screwed was.....up -

one of the best lines I've read of late, dear Deer.

Poor, sweet John, why do you harp on him so?
The ladies will be taking sides,
but THIS you already know!

I'm waivering, you know I am,
John's been a friend to me,
and he always remembers a certain line
of my poetry! (Can you beat that, Deer?)

Cor

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

23 posted 2001-09-08 09:40 AM

LOL! You both need a whipping! Who wants to be first? That'll show who the real man is! And no strapping cans of spam to the rear posterior for cushion! I'll put my bet on you Deer, cause LJ might head out to sea. If not, well then....TAKE IT and HUSH! LOL

You guys are great.

Sincerely,
Regina

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

24 posted 2001-09-08 10:16 AM

I heard a rumor that LJ has mounted a 'chicken canon' on his boat and is sailing toward Ft. Lauderdale

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