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Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2001-09-02 02:01 PM

Stranger Within

Dark shadows creep in the hate
you curse the light, neglect your fate
uncontrollable circumstance
renders you bitter...too numb to dance
crippled in defeat - symphony is dead
forfeiting your dreams in what lies ahead
unreconizable face - ballet of strain
pirouette through trial, heart is slain
fearful, you hide from life's reflection
no reason to try, no path to redemption
empty through applause - a puppet of pain
take a bow, then smile in vain
you perform for the world - commit the greatest sin
succumbing to the curtain call of the stranger within

By Melissa P. Monette

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 09-03-2001).]

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

1 posted 2001-09-02 02:19 PM

Hauntingly sad. Well done!!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

2 posted 2001-09-02 04:29 PM

Meissa, this is to me the ultimate portrayal of depression, and just about exactly how I have been feeling. Very well done.
Sandra

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2001-09-02 07:18 PM

Oh Melissa! This is so beautiful....sad, but beautifully penned. And the music fits perfectly! Well done.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2001-09-02 07:21 PM

Humm, a very intense write Melissa!....

                                                    "a puppet of pain
                         take a bow, then smile in vain
                  you perform for the world - commit the greatest
                                     sin
                  succumbing to the curtain call of the stranger
                                    within"

I love it!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

5 posted 2001-09-02 08:45 PM

How beautifully sad and haunting.

Tracey

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

The Rusty Knight
Member

since 2001-08-29

Posts 414
Texas

6 posted 2001-09-02 08:58 PM

Melissa,
Pain is hard to write about with eloquence. You have captured the moment very well. The picture is perfect with the words.

Death comes not when we cease to breath, but when we cease to dream.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2001-09-02 09:07 PM

Melissa,
A creature from the black lagoon. Always enjoy your writings.

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

8 posted 2001-09-02 09:21 PM

Sadly beautiful. Kind of fits me too. great read
alan

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

9 posted 2001-09-02 11:03 PM

This is just wonderful!

Betty Lou Hebert

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

10 posted 2001-09-02 11:06 PM

Youve masterfully worked the theme of this with the employ of metaphor and the anologies of dancing and heartache...
also creating the mood with stark vivis images and turn of phrase.
very well done Melis
good to see ya back here

jm

A man who asks a woman to lie for him, is a man who will lie to that woman.
A woman who lies for a man, is a woman who lies to herself.
(vise versa)

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

11 posted 2001-09-03 12:58 PM

very nice and great visuals o yuh

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

12 posted 2001-09-03 10:01 AM

Melissa~ This is intensely sad. I think I have been there a time or two.
The next time there's a curtain call, I hope you'll find sunshine on the other side.

Deb

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

13 posted 2001-09-03 03:34 PM

very well done my friend. . . the anguish and the feelings here are very well shown. . .

and the Beethoven is perfect. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.

14 posted 2001-09-03 03:46 PM

you perform for the world - commit the greatest sin
succumbing to the curtain call of the stranger within

-----------------------------

The aching is too tangible.....I can feel it deep within me.....

A powerful write......Melissa, you are wonderful...

Thank you
*************************

"Oh...me!Oh Life!
Of the questions of these recurring..........
Of myself forever reproaching myself,
for who more foolish than I......"
~Whitman~

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