Belle de Jour. (beauty of the day)

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citizenx
Member

since 2001-07-31

Posts 189
motorcade

0 posted 2001-09-02 05:56 AM

The stray plats of hair, I comb
in pacific caress
from the arch ways
of your face.
Droplets of sun faintly
kiss your cheek.
Summer's been
blanketed in the
folds in your dress,
we will put it a jar
to the light the way
In the dead of night.

The lashes of your eyes
drift in the breeze,
I secretly save them,
with your fragrance
clothed in velvet.
Resting on your shoulder.
Summer is almost over,
not for us,
Our bright days have just begun.

Spectres of light
Shimmer in waves
upon your skin the sepia twilight
paints you as an angel.
Words and thoughts cease
To be, drown in the depths of this kiss,
Our love all pink and tickled
rests in the folds of your dress.

for my angel of the dawn.
-------
"The wind in the trees is whispering
Whispering low that I love her
She puts her hand over mine
Down in the lime tree arbour"
from the Boat man's call by Nick Cave and the bad seeds.

"the blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold and it has overturned
the order of the soul" leonard cohen

[This message has been edited by citizenx (edited 09-02-2001).]

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

1 posted 2001-09-02 07:09 AM

Well done Nick, very lovely, tender poem

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2001-09-02 08:25 AM

I see where you want to take this piece so I won't rip it to shreds, but will read it again after you've gone back as a couple of spots need correcting...

[read it aloud and you shall hear them...]

I'll be back!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

3 posted 2001-09-02 09:30 AM

Summer is almost over
Not for us
Our bright days have just begun

Oh, I could pull out other parts, but the whole piece speaks volumes. A beautiful read.

And anyone who can quote from Nick Cave is okay in my eyes

Thanks for this beautiful imagery

Tracey

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-09-02 09:36 AM

The stray plats of hair, I comb
in pacific caress
from the arch ways
of your face.
Droplets of sun faintly
kiss your cheek.
Summer has been
blanketed in
fold in your dress,
we will put it a jar
to the light the way
In the dead of night.

The lashes of your eyes
drift in the breeze,
I secretly save them,
===========================

Spectres of light
Shimmer in waves
upon your skin the sepia twilight
paints you as an angel.
Words and thoughts cease
To be, drown in the depths of this kiss,
Our love all pink and tickled
rests in the folds of your dress.
========================================

*shaking my head*
this is sooooooo beautiful...the imagery here is awesome...and the phrasing wraps around the reader to make us feel the romantic, passionate, mood you have painted with this this beauty.
very very cool writing ...
I do so like where your poetry is going these days...
very well done CX

A man who asks a woman to lie for him, is a man who will lie to that woman.
A woman who lies for a man, is a woman who lies to herself.
(vise versa)

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

5 posted 2001-09-02 10:36 AM

So much love expressed here. Lucky lady.. Awesome poem.
Sandra

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2001-09-02 04:27 PM

CitizenX~

Noting your critique message ...
Nuttin' honey !

'Spectres of light
Shimmer in waves
upon your skin the sepia twilight
paints you as an angel.
Words and thoughts cease
To be, drown in the depths of this kiss,
Our love all pink and tickled
rests in the folds of your dress.'

Gorgeous !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

7 posted 2001-09-02 05:16 PM

citizenx-
   Wow!  This is simply beautiful!

      "Our love all pink and tickled
      rests in the folds of your dress."

   I LOVE the thought of that...
   Wonderful write!

   Hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 09-02-2001).]

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

8 posted 2001-09-02 07:15 PM

Great writing!...

              "The lashes of your eyes
                drift in the breeze,
                I secretly save them,
                with your fragrance
                clothed in velvet.
                Resting on your shoulder.
                Summer is almost over,
                not for us,
                Our bright days have just begun."

Romantic and beautifully poetic!

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

9 posted 2001-09-02 08:32 PM

I would never dream of ripping this poem to shreds...very romantic and lovely...enjoyed

~Victoria~

Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

Pablo Picasso

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

10 posted 2001-09-02 08:39 PM

lovely...

~Tier

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

11 posted 2001-09-02 09:18 PM

Absolutely beautiful!!

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

12 posted 2001-09-02 09:58 PM

I have time for only a few whispers..

firstly - this is stunning my friend...I love it - yep I used the L word. I love this poem...the font, the tone - it's all magical.

Now, plats needs to be plaits.

the dead of night - cliche...you can do much better lol...make this piece entirely your own...

well done!!!!!!!

K

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

13 posted 2001-09-05 06:41 PM

'Summer's been
blanketed in the
folds in your dress,
we will put it a jar
to the light the way
In the dead of night.'

Fantastic imagery and vocab, citizenx...truly a beautiful write...I enjoyed it!

sp

tried to write a letter
to tell you how I feel,
but all I kept on writing
was slipping on the tears from the day...

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

14 posted 2001-09-05 08:05 PM

oh. . . oh. . . there are a couple more cliches here. . . you can find them. . .

this can be so much more. . . it's so excellent. . . Severn and Sunshine were right. . . please do more with it. . .

it's wonderful. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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