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Open Poetry #15
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Two lips too lonely to reply, a REPOST by request
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Two lips too lonely to reply, a REPOST by request |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597
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Two lips too lonely to reply Too bad two souls too far apart to touch two hands to soothe a heart Too long two vowed to be as one two loves too shattered now to be redone? Too much two've spent to no refund to be two lives too moribund Too many two o'clocks two lay awake to ways to've lived to now forsake? Two turns too difficult to easy make two patterns too deeply set to cleanly break To sleep two dreams to wish upon two dance to shadows too darkly on Two wake too soon to little rest two wake too late to such distress Two eyes too red to 'er deny two lips too lonely to reply (ever so slightly revised this time) "As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it." Wendell Berry [This message has been edited by Krawdad (edited 08-30-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I applaud your PR...just kidding, but way to get replies to an unpoem. This was worth waiting for. At this hour, I've found, patience is neccesary. Loved the poem! Loved the entire idea of it. It's a definite saver. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
yes, I really like how you did this.  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
KrawDad~ And - I repeat ... very, very clever~ It likes me ... and I like it~ Grabbed a copy this time ! Tee-Hee !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
I'm glad you posted it again. I saw it the first time, but being new here, did not post to tell you that I enjoyed it. I liked it. I'm glad you put it back for others to enjoy. Tracey |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
And now we have the rest of the story. I'm so glad! I love the creativity. Thanks for the second chance. Twice is always nice! Sincerely, Regina |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Too bad..about all this lonliness. Good write, though. Sandra |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Well, I didn't see the first so I don't know how you revised this but this is fantastic! One place I do think you want another 'o', "to(o) little rest". I, too, want to take a copy and share with friends that put up, all too often, with my poetry. Clever indeed!!! |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Duncan, No, no PR gimmick, not 'clever' enough for that. I expected it to go away when I pulled it. SEA, Glad you liked. Marge, Thanks again. Tracey, Thanks for returning to comment. Regina, Thanks again for stopping by. Sandra, I appreciate your support. Virginia, I changed 'lives' to 'loves' in the second verse. I pondered long which to,too,two to use(here we go again!) in many of these lines. The difference can be subtle or significant. There are several place where you could use another of the three and put a different spin on the story. Try it. That became a challenge. My drafts are littered with changes. Feel free to share it . . . I'm flattered. e |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Too good to let fall to the bottom so I reached out and got 'em! This is very good sir.  |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
two times to smile too wonderful  ...helen |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
hi Krawdad, I really really like this poem... Thanx4sharingPoetFriend *~coco~* |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
enjoyed this e.. i like the "to, two, too" idea..it works.. hugs, g ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Neat write Krawdad...well done! Mucho enjoyed. jwesley |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Im glad you decided to repost this...makes my head spin lol   |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
PdV, 1, coco, dg, j, Thank you each for your kind comments. I am surprised and pleased by the response. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Revised or not....I enjoyed! |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
~Too bad two souls too far apart to touch two hands to soothe a heart~ Aww this is just too sad!!  Love is so confusing... and sometimes so heartwrenching... good luck, great write! Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Too bad two souls too far apart to touch two hands to soothe a heart ..... Two eyes too red to 'er deny two lips too lonely to reply ==================== A powerful write.....saying so much. I'm glad I didn't miss it this time..... Thank you ************************ "Oh...me!Oh Life! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Too much! I liked it too. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Sunshine, Glad you enjoyed. Jenn, Thank you. MyE_M, You've picked the best verses I think. Thanks for reading Midnite, Glad you liked it. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
And you had withdrawn this one?????? SHAME ON YOU This is just beautiful, glad you decided to a repost. Never withdraw a verse for some day one will stumble upon it. I always look back a 200 or 400 posts to see what I've missed. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/ [This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (edited 09-01-2001).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Krawdad, I really enjoyed this, excellent! Maree |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Titia, Shame on me? Well, I suppose you are right. I shouldn't have. I was reluctant to post it, so at the first excuse I withdrew it. Thanks for the compliment. Maree, Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the 'excellent'. |
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