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Open Poetry #15
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kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-08-28 02:38 PM


on a bus,
while you were
amusing yourself
with my handphone
and i was intent on
scratching my rashes
(both literal and metaphorical),
you disclosed
you were attached

you robbed me
of the chance
to congratulate myself
on my well-worded subtle questions
while forcing me
to attend
a heart contraction operation

i was able
to keep my voice
bright and cheery,
my corny jokes kept erupting,
though i had serious misgivings
about the condition of my life-sustainer

do they use concentrated acid as anaesthetic these days?

i will be stating the obvious
(and so be it)

but gosh, how it hurt!!


© Copyright 2001 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-08-28 02:45 PM


Nice metaphorical references throughout...and a nicely told story although ( obviously) a painful experience.

Yes it may be obvious... but it does hurt...


SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-08-28 03:31 PM


wow, this is painful to read, have been there soooooo many times before. Hugs to you  
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-08-28 09:42 PM


a moment captured my friend. . .

well done. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
4 posted 2001-08-28 10:00 PM


i DO love the way youve written this!  a painful moment..i know..but a great write out of it, my friend..!  

hugs, g

~dgvarner/fallen rain~

"i believe we are here for a reason.  
as each day unfolds,
we see less of the shadow
and more of the sun"  -unknown

Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door
5 posted 2001-08-28 10:23 PM


ouch...that does hurt. great read
alan

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
6 posted 2001-08-28 11:09 PM


thank you all for reading and commenting...i was rather devastated that night but well, life goes on...
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