I ramble but sometimes 

I just want to speak 

and be only heard by you

I hate myself some days 

for the way I feel about you, 

I struggle everyday with your being

and who I know you to be

I find myself in want sometimes, 

just to want you and knowing  (you) 

are something I will never have,  I

 hate that I can be so open with my  words to you, 

that I actually say what I feel 

knowing what it may do to you 

knowing that you wont say the same things,  knowing 

that each time I lose a little of you

but I need most of all for you to know  

I grieve sometimes 

for my self being selfish when it comes to you

I grieve because I cant let you go from my mind, 

from my heart  where I keep you safe and loved

I hate some days just knowing I love you like I do

god the if and only of life

I cant stop some days my thoughts, but, not because 

I want or need or feel selfish but because 

I only want to speak some days and just be heard by you

I have to let you go, I have to find that release, and in being 

honest with myself, I don't know how, so I ask you how do I? 

I ramble, but am I heard?

[This message has been edited by NoteBook Pages (edited 08-07-2001).]