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Open Poetry #15
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beyond you and me
| Open Poetry #15 |
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beyond you and me |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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Barely behind a door with no guarantees we lit a match and swallowed the flames. Hastily uncovering just enough that with but a touch, here and there and soft suckles perfectly planted, we fanned the fire, until with whispers and moans and inescapable kisses oh so quiet I knew you and you me and for just a moment there was a we. But I am afraid now in morning’s light we lit a match, my friend, and I have no water. |
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| © Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nicely written!! sensual and fearful at the same time...the uncertainty... I enjoyed this a great deal!!! |
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destiny502 Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 57OH |
"I knew you and you me and for just a moment there was a we." wow i like that part hehee this is nice  Love can sometimes be like magic, but magic can sometimes..just be illusion |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Like this lots...and that ending, very clever, very real...this stuff called love is a great big deal! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
yes!  this is fantastic!! love it! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
oh yes....me likes this... but then you knew a moth would, right?  love the impact of both the opening and the last lines... water/aka restraint is over-rated (moth wisdom) *G* well done poetess jb and may I add so good to see your name here again. take care jm Feels like Im dancing with truth and wisdom |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
well I must say after the downer ones I have written lately this one was a pleasure to create *ng* thank you all really glad you enjoyed....and jm...from one moth to another...yep, knew you would understand |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes... this one too has aged well.. again I enjoyed |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
In your encouraging construtive critiques, I would have to say that you do know what you write about... well done m'lady! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
I LOVE it! Very sensual and a flowing read. I'd love to see more of this from you ... love the positive side much more Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
cpat, lady, and interloper, thank you and yep, I like these happy ones too...anyone got a gag I can borrow for my muse, she gets on those sad kicks and I can't shut her up for anything |
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