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Open Poetry #15
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bluejeans & teaparties.......
| Open Poetry #15 |
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bluejeans & teaparties....... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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bluejeans & teaparties not then and not now although appreciation is given for those who are lace and frill and can stand still, not wishing for bluejeans that fit and a spine that won’t quit when it comes to climbing a tree as that still lingers in me leaves are calling me even back to sandbox times one could find me singing rhymes making mudpies with baby snail eyes my dolly sitting in her rocker wishing I would come and talk her into coming out to play with me, her and my other dollies three rainbarrels are beckoning do you remember how in swinging feet kicked high and ponytails bringing a blush to cheeks as the sting of hair whips fair faces in the hurry up to kick the sky then the drag of toes in sand waiting for the ice-cream man walking in the stance of dad in heels just like mom had, I a combination’s blend of female bliss and strength of hand to take a nail and pound it well, then bake some bread, now catch the smell good things are rising this, a mixture of complete a bit of salt, taste of sweet no pastels to cover me, but denim and earth and mystery to figure out what I am, a configuration of collaboration striding both sides of the fence, a bit of girl in boy’s world and what you see is what you get but the heart is tender in grace one grows accepting womanhood no changing even if one could but would not now nor ever be anything else, this bit of me, to cry when cows give birth to stillborn, stoic to stand when one does harm through word or deed no cry from me donning bluejeans to take a walk taking tea alone, no talk then look here in the heart of me, a wisp of dream found in green, dressed in bluejeans forever a gift of giving lift in smile and shifting from myself now on to you… put on your jeans, I’ll serve tea to you we shall then listen to leaves |
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| © Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
this is really a fantastic piece, nostalgic and vivid, sweet and treasured...like the form, too the only thing I worried a bit about, and it's a phrase I love, but has been done so much, and the rest of your poem is so fresh and original, I'm wondering if the "what you see is what you get" line detracts a bit from that perhaps the remainder is so very fresh it would override the trite of that phrase, but this seems like one that would be wonderful to have published, yet a publisher might hang up on that one line...maybe I'm all wet, too but worry is the right word I want, cuz I like the line there, it fits what you're saying. I loved the visit to childhood, Sunshine! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
The older I get the more I enjoy the visits, idylic as they may be, of memories...especially the wonderous ones of those days long ago, when parents worried about everything and left you (me) to play and dream and wonder. Well written friend Sunshine. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Superb trip into the past, and spilling into the present. I was always torn between playing Robin or Marion, myself. This is wonderful. Sandra |
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elusive1 Junior Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 15NC |
Very well written - have you thought about expanding it into a short story, maybe a snapshot of a summer or a particular day. Great job! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Just lemon, please - no sugar or milk...  |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I wish you could see the smile on my face as I read this...loved it all but especially this... no pastels to cover me, but denim and earth and mystery to figure out what I am, a configuration of collaboration striding both sides of the fence, a bit of girl in boy’s world and what you see is what you get put on your jeans, I’ll serve tea to you we shall then listen to leaves |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Sunshine- WOW! I absolutely love this!!  Brings back sooooo many memories, and you've penned them perfectly... "do you remember how in swinging feet kicked high and ponytails bringing a blush to cheeks as the sting of hair whips fair faces in the hurry up to kick the sky then the drag of toes in sand waiting for the ice-cream man" YES! I DO remember all of this!! "this, a mixture of complete a bit of salt, taste of sweet no pastels to cover me, but denim and earth and mystery to figure out what I am, a configuration of collaboration striding both sides of the fence, a bit of girl in boy’s world and what you see is what you get but the heart is tender" THIS, my friend, describes ME perfectly..LOL  Little tomboy that I was...and am! LOL Thanks for the memories and the smiles, my friend. hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I'm sure you know how much I love this, for it sounded just like me and yes, I would love to come to tea. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Seems to me that there are a few poems in here just bent on making me go back to childhood memories but then I realize that I am still in my childhood so " IT WON'T WORK!!!!!" LOL Very much enjoyed this one and NO.......I didn't reply cause I owed you too but cause I wanted to.  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Karilea~ I like this SO MUCH ! ! !  'I am, a configuration of collaboration striding both sides of the fence, a bit of girl in boy’s world and what you see is what you get but the heart is tender' Indeed ... just the way it should be~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Constance Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393Ohio |
Sunshine, oh my goodness, what's not to like here? This is a piece of perfection. The image is so clear and the phrasing! It takes such courage to allow others to pick the cadence and the little rhyming treats that you so skillfully pen. Wonderful! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
everything from the title to the end is sooooo perfect... " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautiful perfection, Karilea! I'll have mine with one Sweet'n'Low! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Left me feeling as light as cotton candy! Hand me a candy apple and point me in the direction of the carousel! I get the white horse! Well done! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Simply perfect... on a cool evening like this it's great to just sit on my porch swing and drink tea and remember...I love it. chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Enjoyed these vignettes! Fun to go there with you. Thanks. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Sunshine, I so connected with every word. I was daddy's girl, and the bluejeans were my skin, but I do have my Mom's soft heart. A very excellent piece. I will save this and have tea again and again. Sincerely, Regina |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
drew me in! enjoyed sharing the memories with you very much like the style in which youve written too! hugs,g ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You folks are the best commentators I know... VAS...hey what can I say, so I got stuck on a cliche...but it's what I felt and I think I'll leave it in...but thanks for the lengthy comment...it tells me that you read each and every line, and that's the truest form of flattery there be... jwesley, you keep getting older, you find more to write about...thank you for taking this all in!... Cat, I'm not surprised by your response....and you look pretty good in Renaissance dress, too... Elusive, I've done a few prose and "short stories"...sometime you need to check out the Prose section...when you have time...lots of good reading to be done in there!...thanks for your comment! Nan, yes, ma'am.... JLR, what makes you think I didn't see that smile? Good to know you're a jeans person... Vicky, no way could you be THAT old...but if you say so, I'll smile right back at you...glad I could give you some giggles... Martie, I think you were rainbarreling around in the back of my mind when I wrote this.... Mark, it's OK if you stay on that level with PP...it just makes us all appreciate you that much more... Marge! I liked those lines too! That's why I stuck 'em in here! LOL...thank you, our Marge... Constance, I don't know that this was perfection [but if you insist!]...and your comments actually show me that you were jumping up and down in your enthusiasm...thank you!... Irish, from beginning to end, I thank you!... Denise, one tea with Sweet&Lo coming up!... Enchantress, there's plenty of room on the Carousel...and no charge! Hop aboard, and thanks!... Chris, glad I could help with your memories, thanks for reading.... Krawdad, you're very welcome...and thank you... Regina, what you say about yourself, I see in your writing....I'm glad to read all of your writings.... dgvarner, I am so very glad that you enjoyed...thank you! |
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