Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Passionate Dialogue |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Hope you all like this one!!! ![]() 1 O precious fawn, O beautious lover, wouldst thou Believe the eyes my humble heart beholds Thy beautiful, angelic, gracious, glorious... Wow! Thy face alight like a thousand candles, unfolds Before th'unworthiness of my lowly soul! 2 To be away from thee is like a dark, Dank, deathly deep desert devoid Of thy sweet love and song to humbly hark The face, mine own face that fills the void, Where souls do thirst and deserts do drink full! 3 O! Why canst a word thy mouth not say? My love for thee, a waste are we! 4 But why these words thou sayest? 5 Because thou art a fawn, a fool! "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
I likes it Frac. of course, it's written about me, so how could I not like it ![]() so Kev, it's nice to see you back. ![]() ![]() ![]() I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden. |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Dude! Nice to see you posting again. Well this is just like I remember from you, very professional, good mechanics. Wonderful alliteration and consonance! You made this read out wonderfully. And yeah, if it's written about Stace then I'd say that's even more reason to be happy about it. ![]() Hope to see you around more often, man. Yours, ~Allan You eat the brains of an old, wise man. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: Thanks for the good reviews. I was away for six and a half weeks, doing counselling at a camp. I should be around for another week, then it's off to college. I dunno what my scheduling time will be like in that. Stace: For cryin out loud! LOL, it's not a poem about you. It is intended to make fun of old style love poems. Besides, the guy in the end ends up calling his girlfriend a fool. Anyhow, I am glad you liked it. I will try and write a poem about you sometime... "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This was very good man. I was reading it and seeing someone speaking it on stage in front of a bunch a people. That's how the poem read to me. It'd sound nice out loud. Good to see you back Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Awesome to see you back, frac!! Hehe, I just rhymed ![]() ![]() ![]() --Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
you're just in denile frac, you know you want me! and I don't blame you! if I were you, I'd want me too...ROFL! (you know I'm kidding, right?) |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey wow, I REALLY loved this poem frac. Simply awesome! Very well done here. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
HeHe, I liked the ending. The whole poem rocked, actually. I wish people still talked like that...hehehe using words like "sayest and thou and thy and wouldst" Rrrright....Perhaps it's just me though. HeHe, Anyway- Again, awesome job! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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