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fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2001-08-22 10:04 PM

Hope you all like this one!!!

1
O precious fawn, O beautious lover, wouldst thou
Believe the eyes my humble heart beholds
Thy beautiful, angelic, gracious, glorious... Wow!
Thy face alight like a thousand candles, unfolds
Before th'unworthiness of my lowly soul!
2
To be away from thee is like a dark,
Dank, deathly deep desert devoid
Of thy sweet love and song to humbly hark
The face, mine own face that fills the void,
Where souls do thirst and deserts do drink full!
3
O! Why canst a word thy mouth not say?
My love for thee, a waste are we!
4
But why these words thou sayest?
5
Because thou art a fawn, a fool!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

1 posted 2001-08-22 10:12 PM

I likes it Frac. of course, it's written about me, so how could I not like it

so Kev, it's nice to see you back.

I've missed you sooooooooooo very much

*hugs*

I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden.
*HUGS ZU*

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-08-23 01:52 AM

Dude!  Nice to see you posting again.
Well this is just like I remember from you, very professional, good mechanics.  Wonderful alliteration and consonance!  You made this read out wonderfully.
And yeah, if it's written about Stace then I'd say that's even more reason to be happy about it.

Hope to see you around more often, man.
Yours,
~Allan

You eat the brains of an old, wise man.

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2001-08-23 02:12 AM

Allan:

Thanks for the good reviews. I was away for six and a half weeks, doing counselling at a camp. I should be around for another week, then it's off to college. I dunno what my scheduling time will be like in that.

Stace:

For cryin out loud! LOL, it's not a poem about you. It is intended to make fun of old style love poems. Besides, the guy in the end ends up calling his girlfriend a fool. Anyhow, I am glad you liked it. I will try and write a poem about you sometime...

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

4 posted 2001-08-23 10:45 AM

This was very good man. I was reading it and seeing someone speaking it on stage in front of a bunch a people. That's how the poem read to me. It'd sound nice out loud. Good to see you back
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-08-24 11:26 AM

Awesome to see you back, frac!! Hehe, I just rhymed

*cough* anyhow, I really liked this one.. that last line got a little laugh, heh. Very cute. I enjoyed it! I hope to see MORE soon! I think we all missed ya

And I knew you could stay away

Good work!

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

6 posted 2001-08-26 08:55 PM

you're just in denile frac, you know you want me! and I don't blame you! if I were you, I'd want me too...ROFL!
(you know I'm kidding, right?)

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-08-28 01:28 PM

Hey wow, I REALLY loved this poem frac. Simply awesome! Very well done here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

8 posted 2001-09-01 02:25 PM

HeHe, I liked the ending.
The whole poem rocked, actually.
I wish people still talked like that...hehehe using words like "sayest and thou and thy and wouldst"
Rrrright....Perhaps it's just me though. HeHe, Anyway- Again, awesome job!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

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