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Teen Poetry #5
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Every Half Beat- PLEASE read
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Every Half Beat- PLEASE read |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Hey all, first off, thanks for reading. This is the first I've written in a while so sorry if its rusty. Please let me know what you think. Every half beat the heart of love stops, for those in its path another tear drops. Night falls onto the face of the sun, a whole new cycle of pain has begun. Death starts to rise as life starts to fall, the Angels weep while the demons enthral. The future falls behind the present, as the stars spiral to mortal descent. The soul is worth it's weight in feathers, and all hope has been cut up and teathered. The waters part the land turns to wind, theres no return for those who have sinned. No more shadows left to hide behind, when darkness rules and nothing is refined. Don't fight the force to breath is to die, give into the fire and don't dare to cry. Every half beat the heart of love stops, for those in its path another tear drops. ~Alicia~ Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Alicia Morris - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i thought that this was a brilliant piece from you ali!!!..:suergrin:.i loved it a lot! i think you did very well in this one..i loved the format.  .it helped keep the thoughts in order. i enjoyed reading this one very much..it flowed nicely too..im looking forward to many more from you ali.  ..judging from this one they're sure to be good! thanks for the read and great first poem!  Outside Ab Simpsons N.Home: |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
You should start writing poems again because this one was terrific.Keep up the awsome work I can't wait to read more I loved this one! Lauren |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
ery cool hun i like it and its good to see something from you again tho i havnt writting in longer then you so i will prolly have to get something down soon loater hun |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Outstanding poem here! "Don't fight the force to breath is to die, give into the fire and don't dare to cry." Loved this part. Wonderful use of repetition with the first and last stanza. Gave the poem a wonderful closure. Hope to see more VERy soon! |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Nice job! Definitely not rusty! |
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Jezziekaka Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 58where the trees touch the sky |
Alicia~ I loved this poem!! I think that this was NOT a rusty poem!! be dangerous, unpredictable, and make a lot of noise! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Splendid poem. Flowed well and had good wordings. I don't think this was rusty at all, in fact, I'm quite impressed. Reminds me of the talent you always had, but didn't give us much of a glimpse of. Glad to see you posting again. ~Allan People call me a madman, but I am not mad at anyone. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
this was great~like the repeating of that line. that was my fav line graet job..keep it up!*dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
Awsome is all i can say! :exorcist:!~Andrea~!:exorcist: |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Very very very good... Glad i read it! ALLIE |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did well. I especially liked how you repeated the first stanza. Well done here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Nathan James Nugent Junior Member
since 2001-08-31
Posts 10 |
the path never ended nor did it begin |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
*standing ovation* This is really good I'm very very impressed with this poem I'm glad I saw it Thanks for sharing I enjoyed the beautiful read hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
'ello  Not rusty in anyway. LIAR! You shouldn't post that because people will read it expecting crap and this isn't crap. It read through really well and there were some great lines in it. Like these. I love these! "Death starts to rise as life starts to fall, the Angels weep while the demons enthral." Very cool. Well done. Hope to see more. ~AF~ Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry, merry king of the bush is he. Laugh! kookaburra LAGUH! Kookaburra how gay your life must be. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Nice. The last stanza used again was a good idea. Made it sound more complete and full. The emotions on paper is what is important in the end. Any amount of talent just decorates it. And this poem is a christmas tree. Theo |
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just_me Junior Member
since 2001-10-24
Posts 19 |
i love it! I love the way it flows... works very well great imagery |
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just_me Junior Member
since 2001-10-24
Posts 19 |
i love it! I love the way it flows... works very well great imagery |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
AngelPoet, This is very pretty. Thanks for sharing. Dawn |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Ali posted! Ali posted! Rusty? Ha! I wish I were that rusty every day! Great poem! ~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!? |
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