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The Women
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Women |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
falling, falling down the stairs dying, dying, watching all the stares Knowing, knowing that no one cares Completing, Completing a life, deep dispares Saw it falling, knew it happened there Asymptotic, felt it level there Watch the space, juxtaposed, lonely stare Tell me now, it's more than i can bare Severed limbs, dancing round the stage Truth be spoken, assured of early curtain Tightly bound, deeply uttered death be certain Unknowing words were spoken, upon this war she waged i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space |
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| © Copyright 2001 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Very good poem. I much enjoyed it from start to finish. You did a neat thing with repetition. Theo |
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Barelybreathing Junior Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 46 |
I really liked this and the style you used.. especially liked the 2nd stanza..the last line kinda threw me off but thats just me..Otherwise great poem..keep writing.. [This message has been edited by Barelybreathing (edited 11-05-2001).] |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
This one's not my favorite of the ones I've read of yours, but it's still good... I'm just not too keen on the severed limbs part. Otherwise it's great! ~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!? |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
hahaha, severed limbs is the only part refering to the woman being killed. it's the end to the war she waged. Start a war, you'll die  i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space |
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