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Teen Poetry #5
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Parts of me
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Parts of me |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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Give me back my letters. give me back my poems. give me back what i wrote for you, i don't mean it anymore. Give me back my heart. Give me back my love. Give me back the smiles, they aren't meant for you. Give me back my courage. Give me back my strength. Give me back my laughter, you were just a waste. Give me back what I gave you, all the things that are there, but that you cannot see, weither you see it or not, they're all a part of me. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Wow... One of my favorites from you! I can totally relate to this one... Thought it was very well written... Going to my library. Good Job! - Cody - |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
know just how you feel....been there a time or two or three.....very well said  |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
awww this is a sad yet angry poem...my heart goes out to you hun...  ...i loved the last stanza..it reinforced your point well...thanks for the read! "Kiss my Starfish! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
*hug* Very sad poem. A tough situation, indeed. Good luck with it... if you need someone to talk to, give me a holler Nicely done.--Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
DAMN! Anger! Rage! I loved it! Go you! Get that stuff back! I've felt that way too! Awesome write, deary! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Looks like some negative stuff is going on with you and yer love life. Hope things do get better for you Allysa.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
~Give me back my heart. Give me back my love. Give me back the smiles, they aren't meant for you.~ That part is my fave. Don't you just wish for it to be that easy? I hope you feel better now. Great write. Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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Crash&Burn Member
since 2001-01-18
Posts 119 |
I liked your rhyme and repetition, although at some point the rhyme was lost. Other than that the poem itself is good and it's a topic I bet we can all relate to, we will always fall in love and then fall out of it but just as those feelings came they also fade away, we just have to deal with it.  I see the darkness coming all is bleak... |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Poetry dosen't have to rhyme perfectly or flow right, as long as it's from the heart, at least thats what i believe. This poem was VERY good, love can hurt, but it will work out in the end. Do I believe that? If I didn't I would have been gone from this world long ago. Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually). |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Very sad... but sweet in a way... you clearly loved him a lot! ALLIE |
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