Teen Poetry #5 |
Us |
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The beauty of it surrounds us. It enhances our senses, and the world drifts away... Now there's only the two of us. The scent of you teases my nostrils, and your smile lights in my eyes. Such feelings rage through me, and I don't understand, but your touch is reassuring as your hand caresses my cheek, so lightly that I don't know if it's your hands, or the breeze. I look into your eyes… they are so soft. Your hand slides down my arm, and little shocks of lightning reaches my brain. We both know what we want to do. You lean down to press your lips against mine. I feel your breath on my cheek. My eyes close. But then, all of a sudden, they open and I am back in my room, lying in my bed… A dream. I lie back in my bed, eager to get back to sleep. Eager to meet you in my dreams, and awake again, but this time, with a loving knowledge that you’re still in my life, still mine to cherish, instead of this nightmare, and the painful reality that I’ve lost you forever. my heart hurts... --Marie "Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." –James T [This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 06-23-2001).] |
||
© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Honey, I don't know what to say... Well you'll pull through, you always do. You're a very strong person, Marie, and a very incredible and valuable one as well. Your life will move ever onward, I guarantee you. You are young yet, and that is a virtue. Keep your eyes on the road ahead, not the ghosts of the past. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
"The beauty of it surrounds us. It enhances our senses, and the world drifts away... Now there's only the two of us" Your beginning paved the way for an awesome poem. I loved each heart felt line and related to it for the similarities in this situation is all so the same for both of us. Excellent read. Thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
||
DYME Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104Texas |
That was beautiful. No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17 |
||
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow I loved your opening stanza it was excellent "The beauty of it surrounds us. It enhances our senses, and the world drifts away... Now there's only the two of us" I thought that this was absoloutely wonderful, a great start and I just loved the entire thing one for the library me thinks. Andrew |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
well done |
||
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Great job Marie! This was absolutely beautiful work here. Until your next post.... [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 06-23-2001).] |
||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Great, as usual! Rhonda "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardeil *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
||
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Fading Away- you've done a wonderful job with this.. keep writing...it's good medicine for an aching heart... hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
amazing me once again ...very emotional filled and so much pain i can see in it...i hope you feel better...its hard...but i believe things will come together and you will overcome this...as you are strong ...and yea...wonderful poem!...bye Marie im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
||
katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
the poem is great. Don't worry you'll get through this. You know you can. katie fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
||
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Email me... "Blood Moon" |
||
FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
I know that feeling too well. My dream was that my boyfriend would finally have enough time for us to go out to a movie or something, and unfortunately, it only remained a dream. ~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~ |
||
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
as usual you've amazed me. great work marie, i love pretty much all of your poems. being hurt sucks, but at least we have the ability to heal. if ya ever need to talk, i think my e-mail is listed. i hope you feel better. -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
||
Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
This was just beautiful..it was sad...but still very beautiful..I hope life takes a turn for the better VERY SOON...*hugs*... ~Nikki~ |
||
Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
First on the poem. It was amazing. I loved the imagery and everything. It was great. Now on your situation. You are a very strong person, so I know you will get through this. Just keep your head up. Just like Allan said, pretty much. And if you cant smile, just get up and dance like this little guy!! It'll make you feel better! *~*Amanda*~* I need more time to find the real me... to fly like the birds... to be set free. Why couldn't I stop until I had died? It was hate fo [This message has been edited by Heavens Tears (edited 06-25-2001).] |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great job here.....I liked this one a lot marie. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
awwwwwwww, this is really good!! *hugs* I hope everything gets better for you. but I love this poem. -->Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile. |
||
Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
this really was a nice poem I like the imagery involved here don't worry you wont be lonely forever |
||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
*hugs* this is great marie. hope all is well hun. tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
wow~this is so me. eager to get back to sleep to dream again. i do that all the time. and unfortuntly there's no cure for a broken heart, only time. you will heal eventually. it just takes awhile. keep posting in the meantime *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
||
Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
This was an incredibly strong poem, I enjoyed it very much and I am sure it will stay with me for a few weeks! Keep writing! ^*~Kicking Kim~* "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
||
TunaKaHuna Junior Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 19United States |
Marie, this is an excellent poem which shows just how I know you feel. You will get over this, I know you will, and your strength and passion will be there to lead you onto the future for you. We all will have our hearts torn apart from something that we CANNOT control, and you have been a victim of this. Your life will lead you to many great things...dream of those situations, they come with much better rewards, trust me. Remember that there are many people that can make you as happy as ever, and you will find this person. Stay sweet and strong, you'll pull through. Great poem as usual from ya. --Brenton If you give a person a title, then you really dont have to know them...but, they may just be the person who can make you see how happy life can be. |
||
sweetgirl052003 New Member
since 2003-02-03
Posts 4US,Texas |
This is and awesome poem! |
||
Victoria7 Junior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 21 |
i loved your poem hope everything for you gets better "HUGS" |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |