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Teen Poetry #5
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Cause unknown - Last piece for Passions
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Cause unknown - Last piece for Passions |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Cause unknown A theatrical fantasy bound her to life One step to the left, four back now smile! Annihilation of a simple creature like herself Became the first act in this twisted show. Soul quickly set alight to divert the attention away From the dialogue between doctor and patient That became the main feature of act two In the depths of a West Richmond house. "In conclusion, Elizabeth, there is nothing wrong, Suicide you say? You're not suicidal at all." Despondently she tore up the pages of 'Medicine' Whilst finishing off act three. Act four came quite interestingly for the characters in row three, Where the apparatus to define the boundaries of life Was used and deliberately destroyed the diagnosis Of the dear Doctor in Act three. This deadly game where she held the key Was too much for dear mother to bear. Adjusting to circumstances beyond her control Wore this tired woman into the ground in act five. Cascading into act six whilst walking on a rope Starred the elusive EJ in red ink. Pink material hacked to bits Laid down the magic carpet to fly away on. The seventh act became a little hazy As the directing in this show suddenly was shot to hell! Memories and reality blended together Erasing the fabrics that had very harshly held them together. Wasted in the bottom of a vodka glass Act eight became essential. Here she cried and wished the night away And to have a conversation with the stars. Institutionalised deliberately in a field of blue angels, Saw the downfall of act nine. Frail and broken the plot began to thicken As the voice in row three came back to haunt her. Thoughts macabre and eyes blackened Enchanted the creatures at nightfall. Unstable, neurotic and loaded with madness, Act ten delighted the jovial audience. Act eleven too became hazy as the actors just adlibbed. Misunderstanding the plot and the way it was meant to end The words had no purpose being here And their thoughts began to run wild. Money. It's all about the money in act twelve, Pay the morals of the dear doctor to turn away And to sedate the main character before Her waves of torment turned violent. Act thirteen became the final act, Where poetry was written and thoughts expressed. Plagued with insecurities and a longing for death, The phobia for needles faded away. What the prologue forgot to mention though Was the likelihood of this Elizabeth character fading away. Before the production was finished however, She somehow died in her sleep. Cause unknown. ~AnonymousFemale~ "Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 08-07-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
This is awesome. The imagery is wonderful and the entire poem is rather deep. I really liked it  |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Crikey, EJ.....Yea I'd say I'm amazed, yep. Whoa. *breathes* The way it all fit together...all the symbolism, all the ideas, everything just..yep. Sorry for the lame reply...here, I'll give a better one...Great poem can't wait to see more! *smirk* catcha later Miz Elizabeth. ~One amazed little Carly Speak softly and carry a beagle. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Awesome! That's all I got to say.Beautiful work EJ! Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Lizzy- I'm going to say two very important things about this piece. I believe you have a great gift and it shows blatently in this narrative poetry. I think it's beautiful and very well written. The second thing is that it worries me because it sounds so terribly real... and I want you to know that I'm always here for you if you'd like to talk. I'm off tomorrow, which means I'll be home. I'd love to talk to you. Look for me. Much love- Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
EJ! Beautiful work here, quite deep. A nice narrative poem for a nice quiet night. I enjoyed the last part of the poem...quite different. You have such a great talent! Thank you for a very enjoyable read!-Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
E.J.!  WOW! I LOVED this! SOOOOoooo Well done! I loved the whole "Act 1..2...3..etc etc... Very clever. The poem was incredibly deep. I'm so impressed. Just so damn impressed! Wow!You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Wow... im baffled "The words had no purpose being here" My favourite line for sure... although it was hard to pick which line to copy... This piece was amazing to put it softly... You're repetition gave us the "ground work" i supose of the play... foundations?? i suppose?... And then the changing feel in each "act" stiched it all together... I must say i'm envious of your talent... VERY NICE *sorry about my sketchy description... it's prob all wrong* ALLIE |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was an excellent poem!! I really enjoyed it great job hun |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I must say, the reception for this piece was overwhelming. This was my last piece to be posted here. I'm glad to see that everyone enjoyed it. Addio Elizabeth "Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
what do you mean last post??? |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
 -- she's leaving passions... |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This was absolutely amazing! I loved it! It was so emotional, I just wanted to cry. This was a great way to write it too, as a play of your life or something. I am so sorry to see ya go, but I hope that you will reconsider, and if not, at least come back to say hi!! |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
EXCUSE ME!? LEAVING PASSIONS!?  *upset* |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Lizzy, this is, once again, another breathtaking post from you. The imagery in this was to say the least awesome, but in its thoughts, horrorfying. I cant help but, like jenn, to be a bit worried about you. Soul quickly set alight to divert the attention away Cascading into act six whilst walking on a rope Starred the elusive EJ in red ink. Pink material hacked to bits Laid down the magic carpet to fly away on she cried and wished the night away As the voice in row three came back to haunt her. Thoughts macabre and eyes blackened Enchanted the creatures at nightfall. Unstable, neurotic and loaded with madness, Misunderstanding the plot and the way it was meant to end What the prologue forgot to mention though Was the likelihood of this Elizabeth character fading away im overwhlemed with sadness, lizzy. you write well but i think that theres more to this piece that meets the uneducated eye...you HAVE to email me sumtime soon. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
oh no you don't leave passions! *ties you down to a chair* ok now you stay right there! hehe robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Liz, I loved the poem and thought you did a great job, but dislike the fact of you leaving. You are a part of the soul of Passions. It sucks, frankly. I hope to see you reconsider and pop in sometimes.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This was AMAZING... my goodness... EJ... this was absolutely stunning performance of your talent. I am in awe. The ending blew me away. Wowsers, this poem ROCKED in ALL sense of the word. This is definitely going into the library.As for it being your last piece... I can't imagine the forums without you. Please stop by and say hello every now and then. I will miss seeing your names on the forum pages TONS. *hugs*I'll miss you... but this was a fantastic poem. One to be VERY proud of. Bye bye, EJ!  --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
you guys shes not going anywhere member cus i tied her to chair so she couldn't leave muhahahahahahaha robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Welcome to the void, EJ. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
*speechless* . . . . . . . . . but, I shall speak!...HeHe...this poem was a ".........................."just think of it this way...words just cant express..  ...LOVEd it MORE then words i write *points in the screen below your poem* here...sO imma go now...and will hold my breath till your next masterpiece..  if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
That was great, and long. Last piece for Passions..?? Bel |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Everyone, thank you very much for your comments. Bel, that isn't the last piece. Notice the date it was written. I've been back for a while. "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
 ..Hell yES!.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
 "Here she cried and wished the night away And to have a conversation with the stars." my favorite lines You know, I'm always here to talk to *hugs*  be strong hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
great poem very well written. robin bye lizzy,javi,acire,cherish,SEA,vicky,laura,andrea,jessa and anyone else i forgot i will be back to torment you soon muhahahahahahaha |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
Tis Sunshine ...just HAD to read it, reply..*ahem* again...heheh. well, i think someday you will get recognition for your amazing writing ability...(not including pip. but, through all poetry readers) ...this is deeply sad yet heartfelt in the sincerest way...shows the writers emotion VERY straight-foward, as the world does to us in such ways HARSH circumstances...fictionous?, maybe not...though your story telling in this piece is out of this world...*astonished*...you written a piece that is a treasure of your talent...LOVED what you have shared. & ALWAYS smile cause nothing can take away that! ok, Elizabeth! [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 09-21-2001).] |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
You're gorgeous, Sunshine "Hi there, can I relay a sonnet your way?" |
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