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Barelybreathing
Junior Member

since 2000-04-26

Posts 46

0 posted 2001-08-06 12:59 PM

My sleepy eyes slowly open
to the early morning
there's a big smile on my face
but my mind is too fuzzy
to remember why.

Lazily, I crawl out of my
cosy, soft bed
and stagger to
the bathroom, stumbling
in the darkness.

I flick on the switch
then change my mind
and light a candle.
A candlelit bath seems to
suit my present mood.

The water makes a gurgling
noise, just like a baby,
as it fills up the bathtub
and I slide into it
gently...hmmmm..
The hot water feels
like heaven...so soothing,
my eyes dreamily gaze
at the shadows dancing
across the walls.

An ugly mirror hangs
overhead and I
cross my eyes
at my reflection.
And then with somewhat
admiration, I look
at the soft contours
of my body, the white
foam contrasting against
my brown skin and my
hazel eyes gleaming brightly.

A smile appears on my face.
A smile of pleasure
and I remember
the previous night.
I remember his strong
hands caressing my
hot skin...the warmth of
his lips along
the curves of my body..
the taste of his kiss and
the way my body molded
into his. Flesh against
flesh...bodies entwined.
Pure ecstasy.

A sharp knock disturbs
my thoughts.
"What time did you come home?!"
My dad shouts angrily.
The smile disappears
from my face.
Reality kicks in

[This message has been edited by Barelybreathing (edited 08-06-2001).]

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2001-08-06 04:23 AM

Oh this is magical poetry at work right here. The abrupt ending really made it seem like a dream turned reality. Your description of getting into the bath and explaining the connection between your body and the event was just amazing.
I really liked this poem. Thank you so much for sharing it. Keep them coming.

~AF~

"Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-08-06 12:30 PM

WOW!

I was totally wrapped up in this one! You wrote this SO well. The description was awesome. HaHa, and I even jumped a bit when the knock on the door came. I was like "Oh NO!" HaHa... VERY well done here- I'm impressed!

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

3 posted 2001-08-06 02:32 PM

Wow!!!!! This was great. The emotions and feelings portrayed through this were teriffic. This was so beautifully written. I too got wrapped up in the words. Thanks for sharing...
~Nikki~

Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it...

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-08-07 11:10 PM

Oh man! This was just poetry at its finest! This completely and utterly rocked. I really loved the way it was written. VERY well done here. I am impressed

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-08-08 01:50 AM

This was AWESOME! I LOVED the way you described the whole realization process... and the end was fantastic.. wow, line after line was another surprise after another. This was kick butt poetry right here... I am VERY impressed. Hope to see more from you soon!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

6 posted 2001-08-08 01:51 AM

DUDE YOU ROCK! *KNUDGE* *KNUDGE* WANNA GIVE ME SOME POINTERS?
ROBIN

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

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