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Demonic Illusion
Member

since 2002-02-07

Posts 50

0 posted 2002-02-27 01:35 PM

I'm waiting in my cold cell,
Listen to the cries from Hell.
Rage flows thru my veins violently,
Moving in darkness silently.
Hear them shriek,
All too weak.
Reign supreme over the living dead,
Mercyless thoughts in your head.
Create another fiend for a thrill,
So beautiful it'll make you kill.
Cry out "THE DEVIL IS IN ALL OF YOU"
Wondering what you can do.
Life of Mercyless Fate,
Despised characteristic trate.
Fiest upon the lies,
Transform in the skies.
Cruising gallantly through the night,
So close to you yet nowhere in sight.
Defy me cannons loose,
Break out the new noose.
Strangle in a bloody rage,
Like a rat kept in a small cage.
Inhale my fire,
Exhale your own desire.
I'll meet you in the dark,
Attack like a hungry shark.
Regurgitate your soul,
Throw you into a black hole.
I'll see you in the darkness,
Waiting at the Dark Crossroads...

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2002-02-28 03:37 AM

wow...your images are awesomely morbid..dark and lovin this

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2002-03-10 07:53 AM

Oooooo wow!! I LOVE this. It's so dark, so depressing, so extremely cool.

The imagery, like Cherish said, is so morbid. It got me in hook, line and sinker. There's so much darkness in this that it actually makes the piece appear a lot better. Sometimes you can have too much (very rare occasion there) but you pull it off nicely. The rhyme scheme, I'll admitt, did annoy me in a few places but it makes up for it in the wonderful chilling visuals.

Excellent write and I enjoyed the read a ton. Thanks for sharing.

~AF~

"Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2002-03-10 11:52 AM

very dark indeed! wow....for some reason I kept hearing the Eagles 'Hotel California' while I read this......

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

4 posted 2002-03-10 01:15 PM

Wow....I have needed a good dark morbid poem to remind myself that Im not the only one feeling this....Awesome job, great imagery!

~Lisa

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2002-03-10 11:27 PM

Wow...anger was oozing and seeping out of this piece!!! Strong poem...amazing job!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

6 posted 2002-03-13 05:05 AM

i just read this again and live picked "Cry out "THE DEVIL IS IN ALL OF YOU"
Wondering what you can do" as being my favourite line...you did very well in this kyle...im still loving it

...
oh and you reminded me of "bullets with butterfly wings" towards the end of the poem...good imagery there

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

7 posted 2002-03-13 09:14 AM

I just loved the dark imagery that you conjured up in this poem, it was nice to read something a little different. Thanks for sharing it with us

Andrew

"The pin didn't drop it came and crashed down"

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