Dark Materials #3: Waging Wars of Light

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chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-08-04 03:29 PM

Waging Wars of Light

With no light
There is no darkness
With no dark
There is no light
And under sun
Or under moon
We see a war
A war of light.
Shackled clouds
Bare news of war
Warring lights
Imprison clouds
And under sun
Or under moon
There is a war
A war too proud.
Ravens flock
The cold, gray sky
And cold gray skies
Flock heaven's world
And under sun
Or under moon
The war is there
In magic swirls.
Blackened hands
Reach forth to taunt
And brings forth
The hands of black
And under sun
Or under moon
A war has come
And lights attack.
The lightening strikes
And paws the earth
The earthen paws
Strike rays of light
And under sun
Or under moon
There lies a war
A war to fight.
The moon and sun
With spears and swords
With swords and spears
The sun and moon
Fight for sky
Yet they seem to fight
Against the fears
Of darkness' doom.

=====
I used a different form here...made it up myself, I did.

At first, it may seem confusing, but that's how it goes...it adds effect...and it makes sense (for once). Until later my fellow poets!

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-04-2001).]

bOoGaSuGa
Member

since 2001-08-03

Posts 54

1 posted 2001-08-04 04:52 PM

i liked this poem and it has a very creative title

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-08-05 12:45 PM

Leah, another poem that's blown me away. I loved the structure... the short lines worked VERY well, and although there was no rhyme scheme, it flowed very well, and there was a sort of internal rhyme scheme to it that enhanced the flow. Nicely done! Another one I thoroughly enjoyed! Can't wait to number 4.... so hurrt up!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-08-05 10:57 PM

i REALLY liked this one...yea its like all i saw when i was reading it, was...war, light, dark, moon, sun...hehe..but, i thought the format was awesome...and reading it over one more time will sort things out...enjoyed the read, Leah.

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

Postman Pat
Junior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 23
The Great Land DownUnder

4 posted 2001-08-06 12:13 PM

IM begining to really enjoy your poetry Chasing Rain. This is really good. You write amazingly!

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2001-08-06 02:43 AM

OK this one I really didn't like. The way it was written really didn't sit well. The repeatitive of it started to drive me insane.
Well, you can't rule all the time can you?

Thanks for the read, Leah. I look forward to more.

~AF~

"Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale

Terryloveiris_85
Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 61
The middle of nowhere

6 posted 2001-08-06 10:53 AM

i liked this one, but not as much as the other ones in this series. good job neways.
~iris

i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack

goodness is found in the heart, not the money.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-08-08 03:52 PM

I did enjoy this, I did.

Very well done. I thought you wrote it well. A nice poem indeed.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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