I want the life you think I have

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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-08-03 08:03 PM

Everyone always says everything's "perfect",
in my "perfect" little life,
"perfect" little world.

You always say that everything's "perfect",
in my "perfect" little state of mind,
"perfect" little screwed up place.

If everything's "perfect" here,
I want the life you think I have,
because this is about as "perfect" as a nightmare.

I'm not conscerned w/ being "perfect",
but in the odd case that you are,
I want the life you think I have.

Everyone always looks and says I'm "perfect",
that "perfect" little girl,
"perfect" little living.

You say I don't understand,
I'm too "perfect",
"perfect" little girl.

If everything's "perfect" here,
I want the life you think I have,
because this is about as "perfect" as you and me.

I'm not conscerned with what you think,
but in the strange case that you think I am,
I want the life you think I have.

Everyone always ignores me,
they say I'm "perfect",
I could never understand.

You don't tell me things cuz I'm "perfect",
I would never relate to you,
I'm too "perfect" to have ever screwed up.

If everything's "perfect" here,
I want the life you think I have,
because this is about as "perfect" as the we in us.

I'm not conscerned with weither you care,
but in the strange case that you think I am,
I want the life you think I have.

Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by.

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

1 posted 2001-08-03 10:47 PM

I liked this post,
Especially the title
Nice use of repetition...

Very enjoyable

ALLIE

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-08-03 11:39 PM

Well done here.......sounds like people's expectations, or thoughts about you are getting to you. ANyhow, well done here. I enjoyed the poem and hope you get ok.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-08-04 03:29 AM

I agree..the repetition was used nicely here. It worked very well. I know wha you mean...People shouldn't be so quick to judge and comment on someone's "perfect world" till they've lived it for a few minutes. Just because one doens't flaunt one's problems doens't mean that they don't have them. Very well done here. I like it alot!

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

4 posted 2001-08-04 05:06 AM

I am liking this one alot. I can relate to this one and sometimes people just dont want to listen and understand that things arent always as they seem. Good luck to ya!
~Nikki~

Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it...

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-08-05 12:29 PM

I really liked this, Allysa! No one's perfect... always remember. The only one who's perfect is the one who made all of us. Just love who you are first and foremost

I really like this poem. Very nicely written!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

6 posted 2001-08-05 01:44 PM

This is a very strong piece that was very well done. I liked it a lot. Until your next poem..

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-08-05 11:10 PM

@#!@ them..."i would"..heheh well, i think you said this VERY striaght-forward and sincerely...the last line hit me VERY powerful...i liked it, Allysa.

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

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